tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56610964854015653662024-03-22T00:37:16.439+08:00ping!c'est la vie =)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger218125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-28004405028131319602019-11-06T10:49:00.001+08:002019-11-06T10:49:23.560+08:00SINGAPORE TRIP, 25-27 OCTOBER 2019; A Malaysian Perspective. <span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I
was half expecting that Singapore would not feel that much different from
Malaysia. I mean, we share the weather. If it rains in Singapore, the same
exact group of clouds are pouring the same rain in Johor Bahru or Pasir Gudang.
I live in Pasir Gudang and I am not even two marhalah (give or take 90
kilometers) away from home when I was in Singapore so I am not qualified for
the musafir status which means praying every waktu as I would normally.
Usually, that is not a problem in Malaysia, even if you are walking or driving
or travelling anywhere. In Malaysia, we have masjid or musolla at almost every
corner and forget about our tourist attractions; where there is a toilet, there
is a musolla nearby. I have never been outside the safe bosom of mother Malaysia
so I have very little idea about how hard it is to perform prayers when very
little accommodation was given. This was the biggest and saddest point for me. But
it was not all bad in Singapore. It can’t be.</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I
have heard about the infamous “No chewing gum” rule in Singapore so in my mind,
there was a perception that the whole island is cleaner than clean. Therefore,
the exact moment I stepped foot in Singapore, I have been judging the streets,
the roads, everything. We were using public transportation the whole time we
were there, except when we were walking so it was really easy to keep my eyes
on the road. And let me tell you, it was very hard to see trash on the streets
of Singapore. Even the smokers were nice enough to hide their butts in the
bushes after they were done and not flick it onto the pavements where they are
allowed to smoke. Maybe I was walking around the city, close to the tourist
attractions so it might not be an accident that the places were clean but I
continued my assessment when we were walking around Little India (which is kind
of like our Chow Kit Road or Jalan Masjid India in Kuala Lumpur) too. I found big
green trash collectors (? I mean trash bins?) but I did not smell anything too
disturbing and no trash was on the street around the big green bins (haha green
beans). Imagine our Jalan Masjid India, Deepavali is tomorrow, the streets are
packed with Indians rushing to do their last Deepavali preparations. Can you
imagine the trash? The smell? I don’t want to and I can honestly say I don’t
remember the last time I was in Chow Kit Road and not disgusted by the trash.
They may not be created by Malaysians, but it shows how little we care; not
enough to enforce our law on every one – citizens or residents. I hate that the
rumour was true – Singapore is clean. </span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Singapore was, for a brief time in history, a part of Malaysia. We went
our separate ways when our leaders could not reach an agreement about the way
we were heading. So we shook hands and said our goodbyes. For some families in
Johor and Singapore and maybe even further, this meant goodbye for their
families too. To visit each other they would need passports, when they are
literally just over the Strait. It was sad for a while but over time, we got
over it and we went towards our own destinations. Today, in some ways,
Singapore is way better than Malaysia but in other ways, Malaysia has the lead.
We can’t lose all, we’re way bigger than them. I was looking forward to how
Bahasa managed to hold its own on the island and sadly, it’s at the third place
(I realise the irony but I’m teaching English as a Second Language so deal) and
sometimes at no place. The first would be English, second is Mandarin or
Cantonese or other and the third is Bahasa Melayu. For the purpose of this
post, I looked up the First Language in Singapore and sure enough, it’s
English. As long as I was looking, I saw
that Singapore does not have an official religion and tolerates all religions
equally. It would explain why it was very hard to find a musolla.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">That’s about it, my observation while I was in Singapore. Most people
act very civilized around public transportations. They que, they let people out
first, they help people in need, etc. but I did encounter some people who acted
rudely and sure enough, they did not sound Singaporean. I’m hardly praising
Singaporean. The no musolla occurrences were deeply upsetting and there is no
point bigger than that. We went to the Universal Studios Singapore and they
only gave us a space with no real walls and speakers blasting Madagascar’s
theme songs in every corner of the space. It was disrespectful and quite
shocking for first-time travellers like us. However, public transportations
especially the MRT were excellent. Very efficient. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEexnw97ueH5hVeTtUkBAAa_1zQnsbwRnZ2KceeeNTT0czx2HojTS1j6gBjONr8WXSPLJ_Ypt6fb56iDuXc1LfIwTRtxnZW555I7bhAXmsLUK9C76gzaKWLXHLCqSf07u2ewywUX8GztY/s1600/photo_2019-11-06_10-46-33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="722" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEexnw97ueH5hVeTtUkBAAa_1zQnsbwRnZ2KceeeNTT0czx2HojTS1j6gBjONr8WXSPLJ_Ypt6fb56iDuXc1LfIwTRtxnZW555I7bhAXmsLUK9C76gzaKWLXHLCqSf07u2ewywUX8GztY/s320/photo_2019-11-06_10-46-33.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">at the USS, Sentosa Gateway</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you have the chance, go. It’s a first-world country that feels a lot
like home. I mean, if you’re a Malaysian. Otherwise, you’ll feel like it’s a
pretty great South-East Asia country. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd84d9BcVwggWKIYrOQTzq5v7z6fMucGnxW0QQglkxJ8K2ohqDZeW9UsgaWodJXaiPU1Y4BqQs5rjSp6VcfzZHF43A4r1x36tA8CvgErvQnIJIyXgYVcaB2yWIYKbKq0uVj7v-6MRJK-E/s1600/photo_2019-11-06_10-36-48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="722" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd84d9BcVwggWKIYrOQTzq5v7z6fMucGnxW0QQglkxJ8K2ohqDZeW9UsgaWodJXaiPU1Y4BqQs5rjSp6VcfzZHF43A4r1x36tA8CvgErvQnIJIyXgYVcaB2yWIYKbKq0uVj7v-6MRJK-E/s320/photo_2019-11-06_10-36-48.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">at the Woodlands MRT bus station<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-MY; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-70289608268303434972019-09-17T14:38:00.001+08:002019-09-17T14:38:48.987+08:0012th September 2019You called me twice yesterday.<br />
The first was when I was driving to school. You were chirpy, cheery and your usual happy self. You talked about our plan to pursue masters. You asked me to not forget about you. Unfortunately, I kind of already did; I already applied. You said, that's "That's BS, Sern." I said yeah. And then I said, "You don't have the time anymore. You have a baby at home. You're a full time dad."<br />
You said, "Yeah I can. I'm a super dad."<br />
<br />
The second time was in the evening.<br />
I was driving home from UTC, having spent a few hours making a passport. I felt bittersweet as it was my first time making a passport and I was alone, it felt very grown up.<br />
The phone was connected to the car Bluetooth. I thought it was a normal call, you said in the morning that you'd call me again.<br />
Little did I know.<br />
The Bluetooth was hard to disconnect from so I struggled with that for a while. Finally, it disconnected so you could hear me.<br />
<br />
"Sern, my daughter, Medina Sandra, has passed away." You could barely get the words out.<br />
"What?!" I almost hit the brakes.<br />
"Would you please tell our classmates and ask them to recite Al Fatihah for her. Thank you Sern. Good bye."<br />
<br />
Sad, sad!<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-84556394276171192422019-03-05T20:32:00.001+08:002019-03-05T20:32:11.752+08:00KimiaBukan matapelajaran ngeri di Tingkatan 4 dan 5.<br />
<br />
Sudah banyak membaca artikel, menonton video atau mendengar nasihat-nasihat orang tentang apa yang perlu diperhatikan dalam mencari pasangan. Lagu-lagu di radio pun kadang ada panduannya juga. Seperti kata Siti Nurhaliza,<br />
<br />
Kalau menjerat burung kedidi<br />
Janganlah senja baru ketaman<br />
Kalau memikat idaman hati<br />
Janganlah rupa jadi taruhan<br />
Janganlah jangan rupa taruhan.<br />
<br />
Ataupun Beyonce pun ada madahnya,<br />
<br />
If you like it then you should've put a ring on it<br />
If you like it then you should've put a ring on it<br />
<br />
(Senang je Beyonce, asal suka je)<br />
<br />
Lalu sudah banyak nasihat yang terkumpul. Hampir semuanya sentiasa berlegar-legar tetapi belum ada yang betul-betul serius untuk semua nasihat digunapakai serentak. Sedikit yang itu sedikit yang ini.<br />
<br />
Nasihat terkini secara tak langsung diberi oleh salah seorang sahabat. Sebenarnya sedang berbincang tentang persahabatan iaitu mengapa ada persahabatan yang berlangsung dengan cemerlang walaupun jarak memisahkan dan mengapa ada persahabatan yang suam-suam kuku walaupun setiap hari bertemu.<br />
<br />
Chemistry.<br />
<br />
Tak pastilah pembaca sekalian pernah mengalami perkara ini atau tidak. Secara peribadi, memang sering mengalami perkara ini. Kalau tidak ada chemistry, tidak sama wavelength, terasa sukar untuk merobohkan benteng dan membina jambatan persahabatan.<br />
<br />
Berbalik kepada topik tadi.<br />
<br />
Jarang sekali nasihat 'chemistry' ini diberi oleh panduan mencari pasangan. Bukankah chemistry ini penting? Perasaan senang, mudah berkomunikasi. Kalau berkawan pun sebegini benchmark-nya, apatah lagi pasangan hidup.<br />
<br />
Bagaimana keadaan pasangan yang berkahwin tanpa chemistry? Apa perasaan mereka?<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-39512398949314990642019-01-31T20:35:00.000+08:002019-01-31T20:35:18.063+08:00Siapa nak jadi Husna?Kesian nama aku. Tak pasal-pasal sinonim dengan perempuan perampas. Siapalah yang tak pandai tulis skrip tu? Husna maksudnya baik, ahsan. Asma' ul husna. Nama-nama yang baik. Tiba-tiba dituduh perampas yang hampeh. Eeeee suka hati kau je<br />
<br />
Namun, memang ada cerita dalam hidup aku yang seolah-olah sedang mendorong aku untuk menjadi seorang perampas. Cerita macam asalnya biasa-biasa tapi sekarang macam menjadi seperti ditulis-tulis pulak. Puaslah aku menolak jalan cerita ini sampai renggang hampir nak putus lah hubungan yang ada tapi tak putus lagi nampaknya. Biar aku mula dari awal.<br />
<br />
Aku bersahabat baik dengan seorang lelaki sejak tahun pertama di kampus pengajian tinggi. Orangnya pun bolehla tahan tinggi. Aku pun tinggi jadi nak jumpa lelaki yang lebih tinggi dari aku ni susah. Masa awal-awal kenal (sebab satu kelas) dulu sebelum rapat, ada juga aku tertaruh hati kepada dia. Tapi dengan cepatnya dia berkasih dengan seorang gadis tempatan (haha tempatan katanya. Orang kampung dekat kampus kami itulah) lalu aku tidak lagi berharap apa-apa. Tapi selepas aku tidak berharap lagi, kami jadi lebih rapat berkawan. Sungguh aku tak rasa apa-apa dah kepada dia, yang tinggal hanya seronok berbual dengan dia sebab bahasa Inggerisnya fasih. Itu sahaja.<br />
<br />
Tahun berganti tahun, tamatlah pengajian kami. Dia pun memutuskan untuk bertunang dengan kekasihnya. Aku ucapkan tahniah begitu sahaja. Aku harap untuk terus bersahabat dengan dia namun biarlah dari kejauhan sahaja kerana bak kata Flop Poppy;<br />
<br />
Kini aku<br />
Telah berpunya<br />
Masa depan yang tak kita duga<br />
Ku tahu kau masih mengharap jua<br />
Tapi ku tak tak bisa meninggalkannya<br />
<br />
(Aku suka lagu ni jadi aku imagine macam Flop Poppy nyanyi untuk untuk aku la)<br />
<br />
Namun takdir Allah itu kata ada lagi cerita aku dengan dia yang tak habis lagi.<br />
<br />
Aku dan lelaki itu dihantar bertugas ke selatan tanah air ini. Lalu pernahlah beberapa kali kami keluar bersama. Pernah juga ada rakan yang lain ikut bersama tapi tak lama kemudian rakan kami yang lain itu tidak mahu lagi keluar bersama kami, katanya tak elok keluar dengan tunangan orang (rakan aku seorang lagi ni mestilah perempuan. Kalau lelaki tak timbul masalah tunang orang ini apa semua). Tapi lelaki ini tidak jugak jemu-jemu mengajak aku keluar sampai tahap dia sanggup menjemput menghantar aku ke pintu rumah sewa.<br />
<br />
Dia pernah buat igstory sewaktu keluar dengan aku lalu bergaduhlah mereka tunang anak-beranak. Berhenti sekejap lelaki ini menghubungi aku. Tetapi tak lama kemudian kembali menghubungi tapi dia dah tak sanggup menjemput menghantar aku lagi kerana kes bergaduh tempoh hari.<br />
<br />
Aku katakan kepada dia;<br />
<br />
"Lepas kau kahwin kita tak boleh jumpa macam ni lagi. Kau dah jadi suami orang."<br />
<br />
"Ya, aku tahu," balasnya.<br />
<br />
Lalu hari berkahwin dia pun tiba. Cantik sangat isterinya. Kalau nak banding dengan aku ni macam langit dan bumilah, aku bagitahu awal-awal. Padanlah dengan dia pun ada rupa. Bagai pinang dibelah dua mereka.<br />
<br />
Lelaki ini sangat mendesak aku datang ke majlis kahwinnya. Katanya aku ini macam pengapit dialah, tak lengkap kalau aku tak datang. Tapi aku tak memenuhi jemputannya kerana aku tak rasa isterinya mahu aku di majlis mereka. Logiklah, kau nak ke kawan baik suami kau yang berlainan jantina yang sama-sama kerja dengan suami kau di tempat yang jauh dari kau, datang majlis kahwin kau? Tak perlu kot aku nak merebut perhatian suami dia macam tu, kalau kawan perempuan memang aku datang. Nak tunjuk muka dekat perampas best friend aku (crying emoji).<br />
<br />
Selepas mereka berkahwin, berhenti sekejap lelaki ini daripada menghubungi aku. Tetapi selepas isteri dia balik ke kampung (mereka pjj), dia kembali mengajak aku keluar. Sebelum kau fikir yang bukan-bukan, aku tak pernah buat yang bukan-bukan dengan dia. Sentuh kulit dengan sengaja pun tak pernah. Aku dengan dia di sini jelas dengan perasaan masing-masing; aku tak ada hati kat dia dan dia tak ada hati kat aku. Obviously, dia dah kahwin dengan orang lain. Kami keluar buat aktiviti memang macam orang keluar dating yang tu aku akui; makan, tengok movie, jalan-jalan pusing mall. Tapi bukan dating. Tak ada sembang hati ke hati ke jiwang-jiwang ke tak ada. Aku assume itu lah aktiviti orang keluar dating. Aku tak pernah dating. Tak ada orang nak. See?<br />
<br />
Sampai akhirnya, isteri dia tahu yang kami masih keluar walaupun mereka telah berumah tangga. Bergaduhlah lagi mereka anak-beranak walaupun isterinya belum mengandung lagi. Dia juga marah-marah kepada aku, katanya aku bercerita kepada orang tentang aktiviti kami keluar bersama. Lalu aku berfikir, apa salahnya aku cerita kepada orang? Kami cuma berkawan. Eh benak juga aku kadang-kadang. Aku tak faham kenapa dia marah-marah kerana aku tidak ada hati-hati untuk aku jaga. Aku pun memang tak ada hati kepada dia. Eh nak marah-marah pulak. Dah tak payah kawan dah. Dia pun left group wasap kelas kami di kampus dulu dan block aku di Instagram. Adui la lucu lelaki ini.<br />
<br />
Membawa kisah ke tahun ini. Awal tahun ini, ada ibu seorang lelaki ini approach aku dengan niat untuk memperkenalkan aku dengan anak terunanya yang sibuk bekerja seperti tiada hari esok. Eh membunga juga perasaan aku bawak berbulan-bulan juga menyimpan harapan kepada anak terunanya itu. Lalu semakin aku menjauhkan diri daripada lelaki yang pertama tadi kerana memberi perhatian kepada anak orang lain ini. Namun, kisah bersama anak orang lain ini hanya sampai ke tengah hari sahaja kerana hujan turun. Murung la sebentar aku selama berbulan-bulan kemudian.<br />
<br />
Tak lama selepas itu, pertengahan tahun ini aku bertemu dengan lelaki tadi di suatu kursus sementelah kami memang bertugas di daerah yang sama. Bertemu membawa kepada keluar minum petang selepas kursus itu barang setengah jam. Memang aku susah nak menolak ajakan dia kerana aku memang mahu bersembang dengan dia. Dia tahu kelemahan aku di situ. Tetapi selepas pertemuan lepas kursus itu, aku tidak lagi keluar bertemu dengannya walaupun pernah lagi mungkin dia mengajak. Aku juga masih murung dan kakak iparku ada bersamaku di selatan ini. Tidak sanggup tinggalkan kakak ipar di rumah dengan anak-anak saudara, tambahan pula abangku cuma selang beberapa hari pulang ke rumah kerana kerjanya yang sibuk.<br />
<br />
Beberapa bulan seterusnya kami sama-sama sibuk menghadapi kerja. Sehingga akhirnya minggu lalu lelaki itu menghubungi aku atas urusan kerja juga. Aku berasa agak lapang apabila panggilannya itu sebenarnya atas urusan kerja. Tetapi kelapanganku juga cuma sehingga tengah hari apabila dia mengajakku keluar. Aku, yang kadang murung kadang gembira ini tidak berfikir panjang dan bersetuju untuk keluar lagi bersamanya. Tambahan pula kakak iparku pulang ke kampung sudah beberapa bulan, meninggalkan aku sendirian di rumah sewa. Namun rancangan kami untuk keluar tidak kesampaian esoknya kerana aku terpaksa menghadiri mesyuarat. Aku mohon maaf kepada dia dan cancel sahaja rancangan kami tanpa ada rancangan lain. Dua hari kemudian, dia mengajakku keluar sekali lagi namun kali ini juga aku menolak dengan alasan aku sudah sampai di rumah. Walaupun begitu, lelaki ini tidak mudah erti putus asa dan tiga hari kemudian, menuntut lagi aku keluar dengannya. Katanya aku sudah dua kali menolak dan dia tidak akan menerima apa-apa lagi alasanku.<br />
<br />
Tetapi aku tetap beralasan. Sudah malam-malam aku tidak berani lagi untuk keluar. Lalu, walaupun dia seperti sedih, menerima alasanku dan meletakkan panggilan telefon.<br />
<br />
Sekarang ini, siapa yang nak jadi Husna?<br />
<br />
Update :<br />
<br />
Lelaki itu sudah dapat bertukar ke tempat yang lebih dekat dengan isterinya. Alhamdulillah. Barangkali persahabatan kami juga akan semakin renggang. Tak mengapalah. Cukup sudah memori bersama dahulu untuk aku kenang. Aku tak perlu berebut suami orang. Dia pun sudah tak lama lagi hendak jadi ayah orang pula. Syukurlah. Ada pengakhiran yang baik untuk cerita ini. Sekian.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-53270103337272918892019-01-31T20:28:00.000+08:002019-01-31T20:28:48.583+08:00Day 6Masih merawat hati. Masih bersembunyi di sebalik senyum yang pura-pura. Masih menyibukkan diri dengan hidup. Masih menahan air mata daripada sering tumpah.<br />
<br />
Masih menangis hari-hari, pura-pura macam mana pun. Rasa macam ada beban atas kepala. Tak mampu nak rasa ceria sangat.<br />
<br />
Alhamdulillah kerja masih mampu tumpu. Masa bersama anak murid sahaja yang buat aku lupa kepada dia. Anak-anak yang masih muda, semoga Allah tabahkan dan tetapkan hati-hati mereka di jalan Allah.<br />
<br />
Terasa juga hendak bertanya soalan-soalan tapi sudah tahu semua jawapannya. Tapi kenapa hati degil bertanya lagi. Tak sudah-sudah lagi mempersoalkan apa yang terjadi. Tak habis-habis replay momen-momen sedih tu. Tak reti-reti nak rehat kerja dia. Letih tahu tak?<br />
<br />
I'm quitting Instagram a little bit right now. Can't bear to go on it without posting instastories and constantly in need to check for his view. I can't live like that. That's fcked up.<br />
<br />
Day 16<br />
<br />
Masih terasa. Berapa lama lagi baru rasa ini akan pulih? Baru boleh nampak kelibat Proton Persona tanpa rasa apa-apa? Bukan salah Proton.<br />
<br />
Hari ini dah terlupa alma mater dia. Dah terlupa signifikan negeri Perlis. Tetapi tiba-tiba kakak ipar teringat lalu tolong mengingatkan lalu sakit hati kembali. Bukan sakit hati yang benci tu. Sakit hati spesies sedih yang meruntun.<br />
<br />
Tak berbaloi menangis...tapi bila menangis rasa lega...jadi lebih baik menangis daripada simpan...sebab tak berbaloi simpan dalam hati... Pinggan tak retak, nasi tak dingin.<br />
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Day 23<br />
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His mother sent a text. Apologised. Regret. I cried four times. Would've been more if my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece and nephew isn't here.<br />
Haven't replied. Really don't know what to say.<br />
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Day 31<br />
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Replied. Said it's okay. She wished that we'd stay in touch. Don't know how I feel about that.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-43187835482132452022018-06-09T08:13:00.000+08:002018-06-09T08:14:13.226+08:00Hujung Ramadhan1. Assalamualaikum. Tak lama lagi nak raya. Semalam sekolah sudah mulai bercuti jadi hari ini mahu pulang ke kampung halaman.<br />
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2. Ramadhan ini banyak doa dan persoalan yang terasa Allah jawab direct. Beberapa minggu yang lalu terasa sunyi sangat menyambut bulan puasa, lalu Allah hantarkan teman-teman dan sahabat-sahabat untuk mengubatinya. Walaupun jauh dari ayah bonda, hati terasa sedikit terubat. Alhamdulillah.<br />
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3. Apabila terasa berdosa, cepat Allah hantarkan panduan untuk diri kembali ke jalan yang lurus. Apabila penat sedikit menghadapi ujian, Allah hantar ingatan supaya menjaga lisan. Terasa teringat-ingat untuk membetulkan lisan anak-anak juga. Semoga rebung menjadi buluh yang lurus di jalanNya.<br />
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4. Berdoa juga dimudahkan urusan bertemu peneman hidup. Fitrah manusia ingin berpasangan kerana semua orang hendakkan seseorang untuk tua bersama. Lalu bulan inilah ada sahabat bercerita tentang adik-beradiknya yang tidak supportive, tidak menghulur pertolongan sewaktu adik bongsu memerlukan segala keringat semua orang untuk majlis perkahwinannya tidak berapa hari lagi. Kemudian kupandang adik-beradikku yang ramai jauh di mata. Kurangnya aku bersyukur punyai adik-beradik seperti adik-beradikku. Mereka sangat supportive, ambil berat, concern, sayang, tidak berkira, sentiasa ada, sanggup dan banyak lagi sifat-sifat yang baik. Kelakar, banyak celoteh, dan sebagainya. Kami makin membesar makin jauh jaraknya, lalu group WhatsApp tidak pernah sunyi setiap hari. Jikalau seharian tiada bermesej lantaran kesibukan hidup, akan ada seorang dua bertanya khabar walaupun sekadar "Hai, senyap semua orang? Sibuk katanya."<br />
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4.1 Selepas mendengar cerita sahabat yang kekurangan kasih sayang adik-beradik itu, barulah aku sedar yang adik-beradikku istimewa sekali. Hubungan kami istimewa sekali. Bukan semua orang Allah kurniakan hubungan begini. Rupa-rupanya ada adik-beradik yang renggang. Semoga Allah lindungi dan rahmati hubungan kami sehingga ke syurga. Aminn.<br />
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4.2 Barangkali Allah masih mahu kami menghabiskan lebih banyak masa-masa bersama. Lalu aku catatkan itu di sini agar aku ingat untuk lebih banyak mensyukuri kehadiran mereka dalam hidupku. Sebagai bongsu, banyak yang aku pelajari daripada mereka selain daripada ayah bonda tercinta.<br />
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5. Baiklah. Ini sahaja cerita kali ini. Selamat hari raya semua. Maaf zahir dan batin.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-64668958369763136422018-05-26T17:31:00.001+08:002018-05-26T17:31:13.842+08:00Ramadhan1. Assalamualaikum. Lamanya tak nampak? Sibuk ke? Dah bulan puasa baru nampak. Apa khabar?<br />
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2. Alhamdulillah, sihat. Ya, sibuk sangat sejak mula bekerja. Tiada lagi masa-masa senggang untuk menulis berita, cerita dan isi hati di sini.<br />
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3. Ini sudah Ramadhan kedua di selatan tanah air. Tetapi Ramadhan ini lebih syahdu berbanding Ramadhan tahun lepas. Ramadhan tahun ini sering kali sendirian. Puasa hari pertama, kedua dan ketiga disambut seorang diri. Hendak telefon ma di kampung serasa tidak sanggup. Nanti merambu air mata.<br />
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4. Puasa ke-10 baru terasa hendak ke bazar. Zaman maktab dahulu, ke bazar mesti berteman. Sekurang-kurangnya berdua.<br />
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5. Ini bukan lagi zaman maktab. Ini zaman bekerja.<br />
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6. Nobody told me it's going to be this lonely.<br />
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7. I'm not depressed. I just miss my family.<br />
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8. I'm not in denial. I'm not depressed.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-21299632264943950512017-11-06T21:06:00.000+08:002017-12-14T11:31:12.285+08:00Falling outTwo weeks ago, I had two falling outs with two different parties at an eeriely close time. The first was with a few students I had become close to following our meetings during their examination preparation period. We're having this falling out because they felt uncomfortable with my judgement regarding their newly founded relationships with their fellow classmates. And by relationship I mean relationship, relationship. This was unfortunate because I had grown very fond of them and even considered keeping a close relationship with them even after they finish school. Obviously, I was saddened by the situation. I thought me passing judgment wouldn't be a big deal because I was their teacher, isn't passing judgment part of my job description? I guess we were a bit too casual and they took my words as my disapproval. Which was correct but they didn't have to stay away. They don't have to stay away.<br />
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The second falling out was with a close, very dear friend. Let me preface this by stating that I had no intention of stealing them away from their significant other. Stealing them away would be wrong. I wasn't born yesterday. But somehow they thought I was being careless, absent-mindedly mentioning that we meet all the time to anyone who would listen. I don't, but sometimes I drop their name in conversations because we talk all the time and I needed a subject matter. That is all. We go way back. And now I don't know if we'll be friends again. I don't want to if they're going to pull something like this again. I can't take it. Falling outs break my heart.<br />
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These events had me heartbroken so badly that my mother felt something was wrong so she called and asked. The call made me realize it has been two weeks. Two horrible, depressing weeks with nightmares and general unhappiness.<br />
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So far, I have no clue how to get out of the funk. The falling outs haven't been repaired, and I don't see that it will be in the near future.<br />
Hope? Hopefully I will feel happy again soon. Haven't been happy for a while.<br />
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Update: I made up with the kids. It was magical. I don't know when they became important for me because it happened almost instantly, but I am glad we made up. It's nice to be wanted. I wonder if they feel the same way.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-32844364200525615322017-10-02T10:05:00.001+08:002017-10-02T10:05:55.900+08:00Emotionally DependantYesterday, a car from the other lane swerved a little bit in front of me so I had to emergency brake to avoid hitting him but the road was slippery therefore I hit the divider in order to totally stop. The hit damaged my sport rim a little, and my heart.<br />
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It was heartbreaking to see the rim scratched but there's nothing that I can do. I thought about telling my siblings through our Whatsapp group but what's the point? There's nothing that they can do too. The only thing that I needed was for my hands to stop shaking (I literally rattle when I was rattled) and my heart to stop breaking. I tried to calm myself down.<br />
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Then I remembered a comment I read on Facebook a few days ago; women are emotionally dependant. I thought, how lucky! To be able to depend emotionally on someone. I thought to myself, it is a privilege to be able to depend on someone. I wouldn't be able to think like this three years ago.<br />
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I have lived more than half my life being dependant on my family, in every aspect. At the time, I could not tell you how supported I was because I hadn't realized it yet. After I started working and depending on myself financially, I found myself to be drawing a distinction between myself and my family. Don't get me wrong, we are still very close. I call my parents every week when I can, and I keep in constant touch with my siblings. But I found myself to be uncomfortable to share unnecessary information with them, such as the divider-hitting incident. Maybe I will eventually share it with them but as an afterthought, not an immediate, important urgency. I have never felt this way before. It's an event, why don't I feel like sharing it with my immediate family?<br />
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To be completely honest, I have been trying my darndest to be tough and independent. From the moment I arrived in Johor, I had a sinking feeling that from here on out, I have to do literally everything myself. Years in hostel during secondary school years have taught me to be somewhat independent, but this, right here, is the real deal.<br />
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I realized that I am way luckier than some people who had to grow up in a tougher environment; they grew up being independent. I didn't have to do that. I had love, protection and comfort from my family, alhamdulillah. It's probably why I am struggling with my current independence. Is this growing up? Not being able to depend on anybody anymore?<br />
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You're probably thinking: what's the big deal? Call your family, tell them everything that happened, tadaa... emotionally dependant. See, it's not about telling them. It's about not feeling okay to tell them because it has happened and there's nothing they can do or say that will affect the outcome of the incident. It's the RECAPPING of the story that has no other way of ending, that is what's bothering me. It's the empathy that I don't get, and I feel useless in getting. Like,<br />
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Me : I hit a divider.<br />
Person : Oh my God, are you okay? Is the car okay?<br />
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See, those questions will soothe you. However, I have a constant feeling that the person I was talking to (in the effort of getting some empathy) will not care at all. Like,<br />
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Me : I hit a divider.<br />
Person : Oh. Where?<br />
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See, the person was barely interested. I don't want to share if I think the person would not be interested in what I have to say.<br />
This is what I feel with my family when I'm away like right now.<br />
Is it normal to feel this way?<br />
I have some friends here in Johor but I still don't feel comfortable enough to talk about something like this with them. This feels heavy and probably a little disturbing. I just hope I'm not depressed.<br />
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ToodlesUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-70286688551588967262017-08-13T22:00:00.000+08:002017-08-13T22:00:53.894+08:00Happy Anniversaryof working in Johor. Or of being a teacher. Both are true.<br />
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It's not until August 15th but I can't wait. This year has flown by so damn fast and everything was new and exciting, it's hard not to feel amazed that a year has gone by. What kind of sorcery is this?<br />
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So much has happened. I've lived in a hotel for two days - literally homeless. I've contemplated sleeping in my car once. I drove by myself for hundreds of kilometers in one stretch. I participated in a running event, even if running was not exactly what I did. I prepared fried chicken and sambal petai - a milestone which I haven't been able to repeat. I ate alone in a restaurant. I moved twice in a year. I played futsal for the first time in my life. I hit a pole while walking causing the people in a car nearby to laugh so hard they couldn't try to at least cover the fact that they were laughing at me. These are just some of the things that have happened this past year.<br />
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However, there are some unfortunate things too. I went without seeing my parents for months at a time. This is the biggest drawback. I kept being preoccupied from calling them, bad me. I miss my hometown all the time. I miss the beach, the ones here are very different. I miss the delicacy. I have to drive all the time. Very seldom I get to ride with others. Don't get me wrong, I like driving. But sometimes it would be nice if someone would offer like "Hey, you seem like you could use a break. Lemme drive." You know?<br />
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Living in Johor has been surreal. I feel like a part of me is in denial and convinced half of my brain to think that this is almost a dream. It will be over, I just have to tough it out until then. Which is a horrible way to live, but at the same time that Tyler Durden part of me is kinda keeping me sane. Okay I meant metaphorical Tyler Durden. I am not seeing a dangerous-looking heartthrob just hanging out around me, getting into trouble.<br />
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Here's wishing a better, more prosperous new year. Happy anniversary! Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-3647443169417991022017-06-11T14:00:00.000+08:002017-06-11T14:00:47.965+08:00First Day Fasting in JohorAssalamualaikum.<br />
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Today is the first day back in school after the mid-year break. It is also the first school day in Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah, safely arrived in Johor from hometown yesterday even though driving alone long-distance while fasting was a very challenging experience.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwdalhKs3_lp7iJ-6-w_LAE2sp1yWaj1no6fX1aTtoUjNSjUNQSDHMpI7N8Rb0-jF78_NR1S1lSP6wQfYWVGcvJlW4I7515pquZ0kNxa87oOk5NfXkpz0Bgwp7cdyfjv86wprqfMfuYiU/s1600/IMG_20170611_080020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwdalhKs3_lp7iJ-6-w_LAE2sp1yWaj1no6fX1aTtoUjNSjUNQSDHMpI7N8Rb0-jF78_NR1S1lSP6wQfYWVGcvJlW4I7515pquZ0kNxa87oOk5NfXkpz0Bgwp7cdyfjv86wprqfMfuYiU/s320/IMG_20170611_080020.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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The usual weekly assembly today was a bit unusual for me. This kid (picture above) suddenly came and sit next to me. At first I thought she mistook me for her mother (also a teacher here) but no! She really wanted to stay by my side. The whole assembly. And I thought kids don't really like me. My nieces had mixed feelings toward me the whole semester break. Or I was just a bad aunt? Haha.<br />
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Had some classes. Still hadn't written anything resembling a lesson plan (or plans as I supposedly had three classes today) but that's okay. People have Monday blues all the time. Perhaps I'm still recovering from the journey yesterday. I kept yawning in front of the kids. Should've come back on Friday. I thought about it but the thought of leaving home earlier than need be is very unsettling. It's almost wasteful, imo.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBP7CsNSU1fNhM16ZZH_UK8w8EaRK3UGZF0JmZOQWBpI4fMWEdzFprp5_TFVP3JuZQ9qgUTKO4203zMHZFPA3_WIkNQMmHo4fXgL2sip01fcbpZF_J1a4NFf6cZEIVCAeXrhAro_4bn7k/s1600/IMG_20170527_122237.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBP7CsNSU1fNhM16ZZH_UK8w8EaRK3UGZF0JmZOQWBpI4fMWEdzFprp5_TFVP3JuZQ9qgUTKO4203zMHZFPA3_WIkNQMmHo4fXgL2sip01fcbpZF_J1a4NFf6cZEIVCAeXrhAro_4bn7k/s320/IMG_20170527_122237.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Here's a picture of a fig tree. Hopefully the fruits will soon ripe and we can taste the sweetness as mentioned in the Qur'an. 😊<br />
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Happy fasting!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-13362619506741631182017-06-07T13:00:00.001+08:002017-06-07T13:00:50.218+08:00Tukar Sport RimAssalamualaikum.<br />
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Nak cerita pengalaman tukar sport rim semalam. Sebab sebagai seorang perempuan bujang, bila hal-hal kereta macam ni biasanya kita tak mahir kan. Bukan anti-feminis, tapi merujuk diri sendiri. Sekarang dah pernah buat sekali, lepas ni boleh tengok kat sini kalau-kalau ada keperluan untuk tukar lagi. Orang lain ke, kereta lain ke. Eh.<br />
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Pelbagai perkara perlu diambil kira sebelum kita tukar sport rim. Kadang harga rim memang dalam bajet, tapi perkakas-perkakas dia kita tak kira lagi. Haaa... Tapi sebab iolls dah boleh agak (sebab dah Google dulu lebih kurang bab sport rim ni), sedia duit lebih terus.<br />
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Mula-mula, consider saiz tayar dan saiz rim yang kita nak ambil. Iolls pakai Saga FLX dan saiz yang ditetapkan oleh Proton ialah 13 inci. Tapi bila ke kedai, memang rata-rata tak bagi kita ambil rim 13 inci juga; sama ada ambil 14 atau 15 inci yang mereka sarankan. Is it a marketing scheme? I don't know. Tapi memanglah 15 inci nampak cantik dan garang pada Proton Saga. Jadi berkira-kira untuk ambil rim (dan of course tayar) saiz 15 inci.<br />
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Sedih juga untuk berpisah dengan tayar lama sebab Continental baru pakai setahun (walaupun mileage dah banyak tapi tayar comel lagi). Tapi nak buat macam mana?<br />
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Sebelum tukar, survey dulu kedai-kedai kawasan sekitar kalau-kalau harga tempat lain berbeza. Masa iolls survey semalam, memang harga berbeza sangat. Makan ratus bezanya. Maknanya, harga rim, tayar dan sebagainya memang tertakluk kepada kedai.<br />
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Lepas dah jumpa kedai yang paling sesuai (rim ada, tayar ada, harga okay), kalau anda sama kes seperti saya, perlu tanya harga centre ring. Benda ni tak nampak di luar tetapi perlu dipasang. Masuk kan dalam kos.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEircgtmQoUh388jJJeXXOG4dOaWJTwvgEW6tZGEC5Ws21aJR6NQhxZU6KHHTHdPDiKL21L9orB7Ghs5qInhyphenhyphenibC6Lnb1bGwfWOvYSqE4Azcp8em2ohrs4NAnS2pkz9kmsS16VXiOVhxd88/s1600/IMG_20170606_160701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEircgtmQoUh388jJJeXXOG4dOaWJTwvgEW6tZGEC5Ws21aJR6NQhxZU6KHHTHdPDiKL21L9orB7Ghs5qInhyphenhyphenibC6Lnb1bGwfWOvYSqE4Azcp8em2ohrs4NAnS2pkz9kmsS16VXiOVhxd88/s320/IMG_20170606_160701.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baru bukak cover. Selamat tinggal rim asal. Jasamu dikenang.<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Lepas tu, tanya harga lock nut, sebab lock nut sold separately. Tak apa, jangan runsing. Kalau tak cukup duit, jangan buat lagi. Sebab lock nut ni penting beli yang baru. Kalau rasa takut rim diambil orang, kena beli lock nut yang ada safety i.e. hanya pemilik ada 'kunci'nya (atau socket). Iolls is a single lady living so very far away from family so imma not taking any chances. Kalau tayar kena curi memang menangis. Safety lock nut tu mahal sikit. Masukkan dalam kos.<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bfWo9XDMSfc0fj9Bq_NvoR2AWQ4vUELUie_3SYzOhuf8ZafD_FO9j5MSKDkuvTjCwMB9AaAc_IrC017ZndXAA66uoAYVyXNREEaFazefu8SzHTi5B0pWV46jReG2XFTTjLsRuKEkmOQ/s1600/IMG_20170606_161933.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bfWo9XDMSfc0fj9Bq_NvoR2AWQ4vUELUie_3SYzOhuf8ZafD_FO9j5MSKDkuvTjCwMB9AaAc_IrC017ZndXAA66uoAYVyXNREEaFazefu8SzHTi5B0pWV46jReG2XFTTjLsRuKEkmOQ/s320/IMG_20170606_161933.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tayar dah dipasang rim. Selamat tinggal tayar Continental bersusun 4 biji.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwM7ycW_mhDnPkSMwWTplJ88WB3Zak3loG1hNZtXsGIJJqBzutqG-qzyaDmeVPVV6BefKDmeFvka4PGjT9cGeMytmP9tEruT1sxFySkUkNUYeh1HjEEf6PQzjruccuP8_DE6WVwZXo7JM/s1600/IMG_20170606_162720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwM7ycW_mhDnPkSMwWTplJ88WB3Zak3loG1hNZtXsGIJJqBzutqG-qzyaDmeVPVV6BefKDmeFvka4PGjT9cGeMytmP9tEruT1sxFySkUkNUYeh1HjEEf6PQzjruccuP8_DE6WVwZXo7JM/s320/IMG_20170606_162720.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pemasangan centre ring<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWcKWckbfldYvCo5Chse0SMDShl6sJ-bNedvASXdp45eGTnRDeBxC3zEnbO46pBG7r9bE5KmeZtqxmxbxxk_3JacQZC9cDb1KUdxJfkGj4dgBg3bWvqPUU-MAGixG1dxxQcIZlBcYCIzI/s1600/IMG_20170606_163412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWcKWckbfldYvCo5Chse0SMDShl6sJ-bNedvASXdp45eGTnRDeBxC3zEnbO46pBG7r9bE5KmeZtqxmxbxxk_3JacQZC9cDb1KUdxJfkGj4dgBg3bWvqPUU-MAGixG1dxxQcIZlBcYCIzI/s320/IMG_20170606_163412.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pemasangan safety lock nut</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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<div>
Akhirnya, tanya kos alignment dan labour charge. Masukkan semuanya ke dalam jumlah kos. But wait! Tanya juga berapa mereka ambil trade-in tayar anda yang empat biji itu. Tambahan lagi kalau tayar anda masih berbunga dan cantik. Tayar second-hand masih kedai ambil. </div>
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<div>
Semasa alignment dilakukan, mekanik mencadangkan saya menukar kepada adjustable chamber screw memandangkan setting lama yang tak boleh ubah itu senget sedikit darjah. Keadaan ini akan memendekkan jangka hayat tayar kerana tayar lebih haus pada sebelah yang lebih terdedah kepada permukaan jalan. Oleh kerana iolls belum ada bajet, nanti gaji iolls tukar chamber screw dan chamber yang tayar belakang (apatah nama dia lupa dah mekanik tu bagitahu) itu.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Okay. Itu ini begitu begini, semua sekali RM1419.00 (dah tolak RM200.00 trade-in tayar). Pada hamba rakyat marhaen ini, harga itu adalah mahal. Tetapi sebelum cover tayar tercabut di lebuh raya kerana lari seperti tiada hari esok, tukar pakai sport rim lah. Kalau cover tercabut tu bahaya ke untuk kereta? Setakat yang iolls tahu, yang tercabut bersama cover tayar kereta hanyalah nilai estetika. Sekian. </div>
<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_PYq7B6J8w3v74caPZQojFlPAaxdf9M2uXMvU1VIwWZILtdwu9OArXJLMmVOQl4tFCqjG26AlMO4WdSW3LQS1y_Zk-X4OtJEnLHmlts-SLLWfAZn7EooWSIzkKxyJcR0Em-E6Awk3rOE/s1600/IMG_20170606_172843.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_PYq7B6J8w3v74caPZQojFlPAaxdf9M2uXMvU1VIwWZILtdwu9OArXJLMmVOQl4tFCqjG26AlMO4WdSW3LQS1y_Zk-X4OtJEnLHmlts-SLLWfAZn7EooWSIzkKxyJcR0Em-E6Awk3rOE/s320/IMG_20170606_172843.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saga kesayangan hamba</td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-81282807187474199482017-02-15T20:59:00.000+08:002017-02-15T20:59:57.471+08:00Wordful WednesdayIs that right, wordful? Well there's wordless, surely wordful is its less known, more unpopular antonym. Unless the antonym for wordless does exist and I am just currently butchering the language. It's fine. It's English; most widely-butchered language in the world. People speaks English in so many tongues that sometimes even if you and a foreigner are speaking English to each other, you might still end up with no better understanding of each other.<br />
<br />
1. The job is challenging. So many people have said before that the job will be taxing but nothing compares to the real experience. I had a chance to talk with a senior from IPGKSM today, Muaz, and he's talking about maybe applying for transfer. That's when I realized that he doesn't crave the responsibilities so decidedly amounted to him. He hates it just like the rest of us, he's just too decent to be rebellious in just his third year.<br />
<br />
1.1 I am handling level 1 and level 2 English classes and I have to admit I kind of having trouble balancing small kids (7 and 8) and older kids (11). It's not easy because different ages require different approaches, techniques to imply. These are the human resources, I can't play fast and loose with them - just do whatever is easiest. Well with three classes to juggle, no less than 30 kids per class, you can bet that's how I roll. I know what you are thinking; I am complaining too much. Government school, what do you expect? But I thought we have a surplus of teachers coming out of everywhere. Right, I forgot. What to pay them with? It's sad, really, when education is the first thing they thought could use less funding. I have no papers to copy handouts with for my students! I wish I am not currently facing big expenditure in the near future or I'll buy a box of papers and it will be raining handouts for my students. Okay enough shop talk.<br />
<br />
1.2 I just hope the situation will improve soon. Or I'll improve it by getting the hell outta there. Although it's never easy to get transferred. But apparently applying is.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-77275673731333648412017-01-14T21:02:00.000+08:002017-01-14T21:04:31.075+08:00Sudden RevelationRevelation by nature has a sudden connotation, so I guess by "Sudden Revelation" I meant it is all the more sudden than what revelation could have meant. I'm rambling.<br />
<br />
A friend was catching up with me. We tell each other about all the goings on in our lives. I've known this friend for over six years and I thought at this point, very little is left of what we don't know about each other. We talk every other week or every other month, hence my assumption.<br />
<br />
A topic came up and out of the deepest, darkest of the blue, the friend told me they were adopted. I had to pick up my jaw off the ground by the time they finished telling me the story. The friend thought I knew this, they were surprised that I didn't. Then the friend proceeded to give me hints about their parents which I should've picked up ages ago. I've never felt more like an idiot than I was at the time.<br />
<br />
So I started to ponder about the kids in my class whose adoption certificates I just received a few days ago. I've had so many scenarios in my head, mostly negative ones about their real parents and what had happened that caused the adoption. I was sceptical and a judgmental prick in my head. How could I judge those kids like that, thinking what was wrong with their parents that they had to be let go to live with other people, when one of my closest friends were adopted as well? More importantly, how could a teacher think like that? Teachers are supposed to be impartial, a nonpartisan body in the classroom to ensure every child receive the same, equally fair treatment. Instead, I was a judgmental prick.<br />
<br />
They didn't choose their parents. It's not their fault. I have got to stop thinking about where they came from but think more about where they could go from here. That is probably something I can help them with.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-9656702853909006992016-12-06T20:20:00.001+08:002016-12-06T20:20:22.647+08:00What's up?Let's see. I actually wrote something to be posted here earlier this year, but I decided not to post it due to my inability to finish writing the post and my laziness which kept preventing me from finishing the post. Oh well.<br />
<br />
So here we are. Probably the only blog post for the year. So let me keep you up to date, whoever you may be.<br />
<br />
1. I was unemployed for most of the year. At home all of the time, except when I went to Malacca (that's what the other post was about) and I went to KL. Pretty uneventful. Most of the time was just stressing out about when I will be employed.<br />
<br />
2. Wrote an unfinished (seems to be a running theme) story about coffee. Made me research some about coffee. There are a lot of things that I don't know about coffee.<br />
<br />
3. Went to Putrajaya for an interview with Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Pendidikan in April. Don't know if I nailed the interview but I got the job! Insert smiley face here.<br />
<br />
4. Got the job offer. I started in August. Feels like forever ago now that we're in December. Guess what, it's all the way in Johor! I was so nervous in the first month I never go anywhere without turning on Waze. Now a few months in, I can navigate a bit but only close by. I don't know how long it will be until I don't need Waze anymore. Probably a while.<br />
<br />
5. It's almost like I'm learning the job again, because I've been unemployed for so long. All the knowledge I had during my practicums are kind of hazy and dream-like. I'm still learning.<br />
<br />
Oh, that's not a lot. I thought reviewing my year will take up more than 5 bullet points. Guess I was wrong.<br />
<br />
Here's hoping I'll have something more interesting for my year-reviewing post next year.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-2243578295021039442015-05-10T16:37:00.001+08:002015-05-10T16:37:28.774+08:00Director's List<p dir="ltr">I have never been on the list. I have worked towards being on the list for several years. I have not the slightest thought that this year might be it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Alhamdulillah. Good things come to those who wait. And worked. And prayed. And believe. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Director's List for exam November 2014.<br>
Let's work for exam May 2015 now, shall we? <br>
:)<br>
</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-14655517159617557622014-12-25T21:11:00.001+08:002014-12-25T21:45:11.311+08:00I can't even<p dir="ltr">1. I cannot fathom this. There is no other way of looking at it, other than the fact that you are not here, fervently looking for ways to better help your suffering compatriots (that's right, at this moment the people are not your 'loyal subjects', they are the citizens of the nation and they deserved to be recognized as such) or running around furiously demanding more volunteers to help alongside him. There is only one way to look at it, and it's not looking good. </p>
<p dir="ltr">2. For it is really, good fortune and blessings from Allah S.W.T. that you and your family are excluded from facing such terrible fates. Alhamdulillah. And i wholeheartedly believe that you probably thought what you did was the best decision at the time. So, in one very positive and perhaps a little naive way to look at it, maybe this isn't as big a whoop as the social media made it seemed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. HOWEVER, i must state it here that if whatever it is that is keeping you from being here, in the heart of the calamity, was a prior commitment made to another person with the same responsibilities as you to his own subjects, then perhaps he'll understand if you needed to take a rain check. Because rain is literally pouring cats and dogs. He'll do the same if the situation is reversed. Why aren't you?</p>
<p dir="ltr">4. If this needed to be spelled out: you need to be here. Sleeves up to your elbows, life jacket-clad and handing out supplies. Because there are people in Kuala Krai who boiled mud water to have some something to drink. And they're not doing it because they are trying to be Bear Grylls. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Here's looking at you, mister. </p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-55841334968762648822014-11-30T20:18:00.001+08:002014-11-30T20:18:56.991+08:00the fairly tough Butter Cheesecake<p dir="ltr">So my mother's birthday was last Tuesday. We in the family doesn't usually make a big deal out of birthdays but we do like wishing the birthday boy/girl happy birthday, have a good birthday, stuff like that. </p>
<p dir="ltr">So my sister in KL called, so very early in the morning and wished my mom "Happy bithday!" and asked me to bake Ma a birthday cake. See, now, i haven't baked for months. I can feel that i'm a little rusty. But in the spirit of Ma's birthday, i went on the internet, found a butter-cheese cake recipe and thought to myself: "I can swing that."</p>
<p dir="ltr">Boy was i wrong.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I started to lay out the utensils and ingredients needed, i measured everything as intructed by the recipe, and then started the mixing process. Halfway through mixing, i started to get the feeling that my measurement was off somewhere, but i continued mixing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The recipe called for a fully-whipped egg whites to be added to the mixture. For my entire baking career, i have never made whipped egg whites. Because:</p>
<p dir="ltr">a) I don't know how to separate the egg white from the yolk<br>
b) I have avoided recipes that needed egg whites.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Anyway. The recipe wanted them. So i asked Ma to do it. She did it so flawlessly i felt like i could do it too! But of course i didn't. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I used a mixer to mix the other ingredients before i whip the egg whites. So naturally, i just grabbed another mixing bowl, and, without cleaning the mixing utensil first from the previous mixture, i straight away started whipping the egg whites. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Which was an exercise in futility. Nothing happened. The egg whites still was a flat, airless liquid. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Then Ma came into the kitchen, i told her about my distress, and she scolded me for about 15 minutes. I was NOT SUPPOSED TO use the same utensils to whip egg whites WITHOUT CLEANING THEM.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There. Our lesson for today kids; if your egg whites are flat, your cake will be too. </p>
<p dir="ltr">And no, no recipe will be attached. I hate the fact that i was not successful in baking this cake. Perhaps someday when i've conquered this quest.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNInUP6dglXJPaPsuimQsDz8bVQ8d1jQcl_bQfMsEEZPIkrfpd20j01rBhKVXyZpUWsHgNQMZPrlJwje14hpja7HUjvrsLv0KY-e088ohMoOZptEcGIXJ2_3GTepmYJTNUfFNpHFCpRKA/s1600/IMG_20141125_155953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNInUP6dglXJPaPsuimQsDz8bVQ8d1jQcl_bQfMsEEZPIkrfpd20j01rBhKVXyZpUWsHgNQMZPrlJwje14hpja7HUjvrsLv0KY-e088ohMoOZptEcGIXJ2_3GTepmYJTNUfFNpHFCpRKA/s640/IMG_20141125_155953.jpg"> </a> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-13749375310668702942014-11-11T22:57:00.001+08:002014-11-11T22:57:35.451+08:00First love<p dir="ltr">My room-mate and i just had a brief talk. A talk after which i felt a considerable amount of relief. Like i had a huge anchor around my neck weighing me down to an abyss. Now only half of a huge anchor dragging me into an abyss.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There's a girl and a boy who loved each other. They thought the world of each other and they were happy as can be. Problem is, love is not a permanent being; you can't give love and be sure to never change your affection toward the other person. Love changes. Love varies. Love is kind of like a woman changing clothes. There's no telling with love.</p>
<p dir="ltr">One day, the boy had a change of heart. He found himself no longer felt the attachment he so boldly told the world and the girl four years ago. However, the girl still felt the same. Her affection remains the same. So the boy kept his change of heart to himself. But he was hurting himself and the girl. It was wrong and it was obvious that the boy should say something.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Here's where i come in. I was friend with both of them. But i was a tad closer to the boy than with the girl (let me clear this up: me and the boy are completely platonic so no vicious rumour about me being the third person please) so i told the boy:</p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>Please do not string her along. If you have no more feelings for her, then let her go. Let her find someone better. </i></p>
<p dir="ltr">I was completely within reason, wasn't i? <br>
Apparently this wasn't clear for everyone. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Not long after, they broke up. And the girl stopped speaking to me. And if what i said to the boy made her stop speaking to me, i get that perhaps i sounded like i was encouraging the boy to dump the girl. But my intention was good. Don't i get points for that?</p>
<p dir="ltr">And also, i was wondering: doesn't she gets that i was on HER SIDE? <br>
<br>
Then my room-mate said:<br>
"Perhaps he was her first love. So she couldn't rationalise. She can only see and that you, with your words, broke her and him up." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Wow, intense. <br>
So, perhaps, me and the girl won't be friends again. Forever. </p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-64630993170954801032014-11-08T00:22:00.001+08:002014-11-08T00:22:29.932+08:00The cold is here<p dir="ltr">No, not the cold as in aa....choo! No, not that one. It's the one that blanketed the Besut sky with a grey-ish complexion all day long and blows brisk breath of air that seeps into your bones. There, have i wowed you with my ability to be descriptive? Hew hew.</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. I have been feeling a little bit lonely these past few days. Maybe it's because i am currently one room-mate short, maybe because i am longing to be in the company of my family or maybe because of hormones! I love it when as a woman, i always have that option. </p>
<p dir="ltr">2. It's true. I recently read (not that i don't know about this before, it's just the more recent the reading, the clearer i remember it) that a woman's moods or feelings are highly affected by the type of hormones running amok in her body. This is why when it is 'the time of the month', ladies are prone to be more sensitive and easily irritated than usual. The hormones main function is to help the body prepare for pregnancy, but the aforementioned conditions are the side effects. K, why am i writing all this?</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. I was using my friends' twitter accounts to tweet stuff. Wildly random stuff like: </p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>"It's time for some quality movies to appear in the Malay movie scene."</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>and</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>"</i><i>Kenapa</i><i> </i><i>kedai</i><i> </i><i>tudung</i><i> </i><i>dekat</i><i> Kuala </i><i>Besut</i><i> </i><i>tu</i><i> </i><i>tak</i><i> </i><i>bukak</i><i>? </i><i>Asal</i><i> </i><i>lalu</i><i> </i><i>je</i><i> </i><i>tutup</i><i>." </i></p>
<p dir="ltr">And both tweets got a reply. I'll be honest, if i was tweeting random crap like that using my twitter account, it's unlikely anyone will reply. But somehow, my friends got some interesting feedbacks from MY tweets. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Am i scaring people away?<br><br></p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-42331591481486630842014-10-25T20:31:00.001+08:002014-10-25T20:31:35.231+08:00Another lip-biting news<p dir="ltr">I mean, c'mon. Give it a rest, pest. You wanna know why we don't seem to like you people? If you don't, would ya? Cause i'm dying to tell.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let me start over. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm a third-year trainee teacher at an institution so messed up, i can't even. Okay, get it? So finals is approaching. Classes are over and it's Deepavali weekend so most of us are back home. Except for our East Malaysia friends of course. They always stay because, well, no point going back and forth when holiday is in a month, right? </p>
<p dir="ltr">So anyway. This is that time of the year we'd like to call 'study week'. It's a few weeks before finals begin and we'd have this time to recuperate, get together with classmates, have discussions, study group or study solo, whatever, you know. Just, our own free time. No one cares what we do as long as we show up for our papers. Which is, really, the only thing that matters.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now came along our new papa, big guy on campus. I don't think any other lecturer would've suggested anything to him. No. This big idea must've come from him. Now the new rule wants us, KIDS we are, to be on campus ground and in CLASSES or LIBRARY during this whole study week period. When classes are already over. (Let me answer that question you didn't ask; yes, he wants us to spend 6 mind-numbingly boring hours in class just for the sake of being in class.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">My (insert curse here) papers are, give or take, FOUR WEEKS away! </p>
<p dir="ltr">So now, they are threatening absentees with a RM50 fine. Ah, what a life. I feel like i should write a novel about this, or something. </p>
<p dir="ltr">At the time this was written, i don't know if i'm following the rules or rebelling. I've always thought i'm kind of a rebellious person you know?</p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-57334364205050469532014-10-24T23:20:00.001+08:002014-10-24T23:20:16.742+08:00rantI need to rant and f it, i don't care anymore. I need an outlet and if you don't wanna read this, feel free to leave a message with someone who gives a furry rat's behind. Thanks.<br />
<br />
Where do i begin? I can't even (Insert muffled rage here). First of all, hats off to the wonderful people who's doing some wonderful job up there. You are really something. Second, . Actually, i don't have a second one. I am mad, ostentatiously so, which makes me mad at every outcome which has been produced as a result from the handiwork of the aforementioned people. This is starting to sound like gibberish, and it is purposefully done that way so that i wouldn't have to explain this should this come blowing up in my face at a later date. Plausible deniablity.<br />
<br />
All that crap about we should be happy for other people's fortune is just that; crap. Especially when we were dreaming for the exact same fortune only to be snatched away by someone who probably doesn't even realised how easy they have it. I sound petty right now. Crap. I don't f-ing care anymore! You can make me however you like it to be.<br />
<br />
I'm not happy. It's killing me inside. I can't wait to be outta that place one year from now. I've made some great friends, but some really crappy memories too. And running is what i do best. Not because i'm a coward. No. I refuse to be called that. It's because i can't wait to be on my own, do my own thing.<br />
<br />
The saddest part about that is, nobody, f-ing, cares.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-48829677192285113932014-05-23T00:49:00.001+08:002014-05-23T00:49:33.343+08:00the business of trying to have a business1. "Awak exam ke. Sy memang serius dgn biz tudung online tu. Harap2 jadi kali ni..amin ya Allah."<br />
<br />
2. text received at 10.59am. i was not in the exam hall. my paper today was at 2.00pm. and at the time, i was studying my butt off because i have a feeling the paper is not gonna be 'easy breezy cover girl' type of paper -____-<br />
anyway...<br />
<br />
3. my sister has been trying for some time to be a businesswoman. she had a store once. but it didn't worked out. this time, she wants to try selling tudung (scarf/hijab, call it whatever you want as long as it covers your aurat) online. like how one of my friend does it. the other day, when we talked about this, i was fired up to help her about this. i'm gonna have the next month free so i am all hers to work on all the intricacies of selling something on the internet. not that imma an expert but at least i know a few stuff. i can show her how to do some stuff.<br />
<br />
4. i put this stuff on the back of my mind cause you know, finals. had to force myself to focus. and then she sent me that text this morning. honestly, i really hope this can take off. it's not easy to make it but once you do, you gotta make sure you are ready to commit.<br />
<br />
5. however, realistically, the chance to take off is pretty slim. there are A LOT of businesses online out there and tudung? it's neither new nor news. there are many of 'em out there and with a lot more variety of colours or designs or materials, etc., etc.<br />
<br />
6. and so, forgotten all about this tudung matter, me and a few friends went out to Jabi tonight to celebrate our 'temporary independence' after our last paper today by eating some well known, much sought-after, sate Jabi! hehe.. that's a lot of fuss for just some sate. anyway...<br />
the friend i mentioned before, the one with the booming tudung business? she was there too. she was talking with another friend, asking for pointers about going to Australia. i was a little surprised.<br />
then i asked another friend : "who is **** going to Australia with? her whole family?"<br />
the friend replied : "nope. just her and her brother plus her friend with her friend's brother."<br />
and then i was REALLY surprised.<br />
<br />
7. putting aside my jealousy for her freedom of going anywhere she want with just one muhrim needed and also the fact that she's going to visit AUSTRALIA, i was brought to thinking:<br />
she must be using her own money. she'll just be going with her younger brother.<br />
the money from her business is that much???<br />
now, at this moment, i am truly, truly impressed.<br />
<br />
8. we've always heard that hadith which stated that 9/10 of income comes from doing business, selling something. now, i have seen it from the beginning.<br />
<br />
9. i know how she started off. and now look where she is.<br />
<br />
10. may Allah bless my sister's path like He did for that friend of mine.<br />
<br />
:)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-39047382644298523072014-05-20T00:18:00.000+08:002014-05-20T00:18:41.739+08:00updates1. borrowing my..err.. someone i know's style of writing. maybe when i am done talking about the topic on this number, i'll move on to the next.<br />
<br />
2. i am currently facing finals. but as per usual, i find this time as the most amazingly inspiring, incomparably wonderful time to write something on the blog that i myself at most times thinking "why the why i still hold on to that blog? it is so not cool anymore."<br />
but i like writing. and i like writing long, tedious paragraphs that bores the people who read them. except if those people happen to like them. which is rare. which is if happened, it doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
3. oh Arsenal won the FA Cup! has been a while that i don't yap about Arsenal. it's a cool win too. they came back after Hull City got a 2-nil lead and Aaron Ramsey (or, as Malaysia fans call him; Harun Ramzi) shot the winning goal at 109min. i saw the video of the highlights of the game and yes i do wanna watch it again. but i have a study to get to. not a study as in a small room dimly lit by a fireplace located too far from the Brobdingnagian study table which makes any study of any kind is impossible, a study as in a study session consists of a mountain of books. a plethora of study. (did i use 'plethora' right?)<br />
<br />
4. i got a car from Ayah. well not his, he bought a new one. for now, he is paying for it (together with a few other figures in the family). but when i get off school, got posted anywhere, he'll be like "You're up, kid."<br />
hehe.<br />
i like cars, i have to say. before i got the D-type licence (for Malaysians, this is the type of licence you need to be able to drive a car on the road and not get stopped by the police and get a summon for driving without a licence), i used to think driving is scary. now, after i got the licence, almost 2 years ago, and been driving around in my car for over a month, i must say, it is...less scary. the scary is still there, but i tied it up, rolled it in a blanket and put it in the trunk. it's still still there, but i can handle it.<br />
scary doesn't exist when i'm riding a motorcycle though. perhaps blown away from the backseat when i was 8 years old. or 9. yes, ladies and gentlemen, those are the ages i started riding a bike. just a kapcai, not a Kawasaki Ninja or anything. relax. although, now that i mentioned it, someday i would like to ride a big bike like the Kawasaki Ninja. get a leather jacket, boots and everything. and just ride to KL. and then be very afraid cause i can't find the way to get to my brother's place in Selayang. (navigating is NOT my strongest suit. i use a GPS when i'm driving)<br />
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5. feeling a hollow in my heart for missing my nieces. well sure, i'm so far away now. i can't handle kids very well especially when they're acting up. probably should've thought about that before i choose to be a primary school teacher. next year will be my final year in school. not too far away now.<br />
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6. friends were talking about marriage just now. that's not surprising. it's not weird to marry young these days. leen asked me: when are you getting married?<br />
i said: i currently have zero candidate lining up for a spot in my heart (not those EXACT words, c'mon. i simply said takde calonn -____-)<br />
truth is, i am so not looking forward to being tied down. sure, the wedding'll probably be cute, but after that? i can't handle it yet, i think. i am so swamped with schoolwork. and also, i am the very lazy specimen of a woman. i believe jodoh comes when one is ready. meanwhile, i CANNOT imagine why people want to get married at young ages. oh wait i can imagine why *insert grins here*<br />
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7. i'll come back later if i have some more to say.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5661096485401565366.post-72164456746155009352014-03-09T14:35:00.001+08:002014-03-09T14:35:18.785+08:00Mendung dan SayuKesedihan yang tidak tertanggung ini,<br />
Tidak kufahami mengapa,<br />
Apa yang terlalu mengganggu jiwa?<br />
Yang bernafas pasti berhenti,<br />
Yang ada pasti pergi,<br />
Yang hidup mesti merasai mati!<br />
Lalu kenapa menangisi?<br />
Kerana aku bukan terbuat daripada besi,<br />
Perasaan runtun, jiwa lara,<br />
Mesti kembali, harus mengingati Ilahi,<br />
Kerana Dia menarik, Dia memberi,<br />
Di mana-mana pun, semadi.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0