Tuesday, April 23, 2013

monologue wednesday

it's been a few weeks since the last time i went home. well i actually cannot say that everyone else's had been going back and forth to their homes but that doesn't makes me feel any better. i still miss home and everything it contains.

i miss my Ma's cooking (food first. always. ^---^)
i miss hanging the laundry.
i miss folding the laundry.
i miss my little niece Khadeja who is currently at home because her mother is still in 'pantang'.
i miss the fast internet connection.
i miss watching 'Tanyalah Ustaz' on TV9 every morning at 7.
i miss sleeping in and waking up with no worries of finding food. (i hate keeping food for long in my room)
i miss massaging Ma.
i even miss Ayah's glaring at me and telling me to stop surfing and go studying! that usually irritates me but still, i know i'm a stubborn one who needs constant goading.

so the thing is, next week is gonna be the final week for interaction. the week after, we're gonna have study week and then finals will come forth and consume us all in its wrath. it's like this:

final interaction: 28th April - 2nd May 2013
study week: 5th - 9th May 2013
finals: 13th until who knows. i haven't seen the schedule. i just know the date it starts: 13th May 2013.

my dilemma here is, Kak Lang (Khadeja's mum) wants to held Khadeja's 'aqiqah' on the 11th of May. it's not during my exam or class or anything but it's a bit too close to the exam for my comfort. if i go back for the 'aqiqah', surely i'd be back here to Besut on the 12th. and on the 13th i'm gonna face my first paper. i'm not exactly the lucky type - i have to work hard in every exams i've had to take if i wanna excel. and to be travelling the day before the exam is not a recipe to success.

should i, or shouldn't i?
but i've waited, WE have all waited for Khadeja for so long. yes, Amni was here first and i love with all my heart, but Khadeja is special in her own ways and i love both of my nieces. don't wanna miss seeing both of them, especially together!

but i have my future kind of riding on this exam. been saying i wanna be on the director's list for quite some time now. but i haven't put in enough time i suppose.

oh well.

i guess istikharah wouldn't hurt.

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