Saturday, January 29, 2011

terima kasih, thank you, arigato gozaimasu, merci, tausend dank..etc

and it doesn't seem enough.

in 2009, when i came back from Perak without the trophy as an ASAT public speaking champion (because i didn't win), nobody spare me a glance. it's like the place (SMC) used to having speakers to go to national level in any competition. and i honestly didn't care - because yeah, i didn't win.

but she didn't think so. she obviously thought it was a cool achievement. she called me upon her, asked me about the competition (to which i weakly replied i didn't won) and shook my hand so hard my whole body shook to congratulate me.

you see, when i was busy with the competition (district, state and national level), some of the teachers thought i was a liability for the student body. i was a prefect but because of a few months of neglecting prefect's duty because of the competition, i wasn't promoted the next year. all my hard work as a prefect for three years went to waste. because it didn't even state in the cert. that i was a prefect when i left the place. one thing in high school which i regret the most.

she made me think that what i did matters. when i thought it wasn't.

i know you can hear me because when i was in standard four, a teacher once said to me:

"if you du'a for your departed parents, the du'a don't even went up to Allah. it'll go straight to your loved ones."

you're not my parent but you certainly feel like one. please forgive us of every single deed or word we ever did or said that wasn't in your best interest. you opened our eyes that science and religion really never did part but will always be together and there is so much more out there to be experienced thus go, fly and reach for the highest sky.

Al-Fatihah for Cikgu Norharyati bt. Din.

forgive n forget

okay, seriously? this is me annoyed. anonymous 1: i don't know how i can work with you if that thing ever become serious. i forgive - all the time. cause it's the thing to do, more mature, wise thing to do. but i never forget. all my friends know that and you my friend, it is high time you know that. i forgive after it is done - cause, granted he was evil and had less ball than a woman does, macbeth had it right. what's done is done. but i never forget. it's a condition every woman is born with. and you've use my forgiveness once, alright? you didn't know it but i've forgiven you, you most certainly didn't have to know. and you might even have a shot of not knowing it at all. but things has change. and you can't be forgiven if you are still doing the thing that makes me feel so mad at you. maybe because it's like bros before hos. in this case, maybe sis before s-o-*itch. anonymous 2: you are s-o-*itch. that's right. didn't have the ball to said it - not until pushed. and seriously, we are related? i seriously, highly doubt that. maybe by very far distance and some ancient history. oh, and i should care about those people that i somehow have to see at least once a year because of our blood? well guess what? i don't care anymore because you said it yourself; they cut their tongue with the scissors of Hell because they give advice to people whereas they themselves did not follow. and you also lied to me - that, or you just didn't understand my malay. which is not my fault because you obviously didn't understand my english too. and dude, i only speak two languages. i don't speak your district dialect because: a) i can if i want to, but i think your district dialect is just plain stupid. b) last time i check, that district is still in the state where i come from but i wonder why the people were/are speaking like we're in the other state. c) i am so proud of the state that i originated from. and i know for a fact you people don't. so go ahead and get wasted. you deserved that much.

out of the picture

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

it's personal

kf said,

"Siti Khadijah pon bgtaw nabi Muhammad jugak. jgn lupe."


that is so very true i can't deny it one bit.

and because i am currently studying macbeth;

what's done is done.


fb had enough of my pics. i hope blogger wouldn't disappoint me.

but unfortunately, my modem seems to hate me. i'll just go home and switch to wireless.
(but the above is one of my best pictures. i'll upload more later.)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

when they say

i kind of blurbed. sort of.

didn't mean to say anything. honestly. if i did want to say something i would've said the name. but i kept my patient (and biting my lips) and i survived the torture of them trying to get the name out of my mouth.

they further tortured me by guessing the correct name. but i hope my poker face was good enough. or at least, not bad that the correct name would soon fly out of their thoughts.

to make the blatant attempt to make me speak seemed endless, they said that i'm not good enough - if indeed the correct name was the correct name. which they did not know, was.

i am not trying to make anyone understand this post. but if you're reading this and know the person of the said correct name, you might say the same thing. and for the time being, i honestly couldn't care less.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

one last time~

one last time.
i didn't know.
it was pouring -
as if nature knew
that i won't make it
one last time.

during lighter days,
advices, smile and cherishes,
as a Tok will always do.
taking it for granted -
like a Cucu i am
(Allah forgive me)

and i didn't know.
rushing through lightning cars,
i didn't make it for the last time.


Saturday, January 22, 2011


i think i haven't reviewed Salt.


not that i have much to say about it. and it's not a new movie but if you haven't watched it, then i'd say there are a certain number of films in this world worth watching and with angie on board, it's a worth-watching movie.

i've been exposed enough times with the cia and nsa agents (*cough* chuck *cough*) and i know the idea that these agents are hardcore, unmoved like walls and trained in the art of espionage - as how evelyn salt (angelina jolie) was in the movie.

but when the russian revolution team headed by orlov (daniel olbrychski) decided to kill salt's husband, mike krause (august diehl), they have crossed a line they didn't know salt had. krause meant the world for salt because he went all the way to save salt from north korea's army torture once. a knight-like act like that, would melt any lady's heart - even a female cia agent.

so salt went from double-cross to triple-cross (haha^^) and then she was a cia agent again and who knows what happened when she escaped from the helicopter into the icy ocean? unless we have Salt 2 that is. happy watching.

moral: don't cross a woman with training in tactical attack and close combat. she'll kill you. (i'm a future teacher now. everything has to have a moral^^)


Monday, January 17, 2011

practically am embarrassing myself. dot.

I like someone again. I know, I know. Even I couldn’t say it to myself anymore (because of the huge number of collision I’ve had) but who is it that I’m trying to lie to? Myself. Of course.

It was not official. (okay, in the cases of me liking someone, I have to tell it to my closest friends because it only feels real then.) I have only told Ac, which is compulsory. But no one
from IP yet. Not telling because:

a. I haven’t met anyone as trustworthy as Ac. (well yes that fact is debatable but she is my bff)
b. I don’t want to because it’s one thing to tell Ac, it’s another to tell to my newfound friends in IP. Besides, they might have a bad news to deliver if I tell them. Bad news like, he has a gf? Haha. So not knowing means I can still pretend he’s single – even if I’m dying to know if he is.
c. I am still an 18-year-old girl with no mature views of life. (and Ac said this too. I’m not mature enough yet? Is maturity compulsory for me to try to jump into a relationship? – ok, the phrase “jump” was already a dead giveaway)

Okay I should stop before I give anymore dead giveaway. Cause I would like to avoid that. Liking him this bad makes it even harder to perform in class – even more than usual.

*There is one way, I think to find out if I’m ready for this kind of stuff. My sis cried for her bf all the time. Maybe it’s time I test that theory.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

welcome back, young jedi.

okay, i did not just watch star wars. seriously. can't understand them at all. the young jedi bit was from gossip girl when dan's dad, rufus told that to dan.

so today was an eventful returning from home to the campus. while we (me and my sis) were facing it, she kept telling me that i should put this in my blog so that i will always remember not to bet only on the usual time but make space for unexpected events. like, for instance, the leaders (a certain dsai and his entourage) of the opposing alliance coming to Kemaman (i knew i should've read the date on the flying banners).

let me start over.

it was stated on my ticket that i am supposed to be on-board at 10.30am. due to my went to sleep late last night, my Ma let me sleep in a few more hours in the morning after Subuh just to avoid a case of me missing my stop at Jerteh and go straight to KB. which we don't need. so i woke up at 9.00am, had my breakfast and shower. by 10.00am, i was ready to go. but my sis, who wanted to send me to the bus station, was running a little late so at 10.15am, we were still in BK. which was suck if we want to catch my bus.

in normal situation, by 10.20am we should already reach at least SMKSIs (there are 2 and they are side-by-side. don't ask me why) but sure enough, today was nothing but unusual. by snail's speed, we reached the bus station in Geliga at about 10.45am - 15min later than the time i was supposed to board my bus.

but no trans in sight. i ran to the ticket-counter and asked the 'pakcik' in-charge.

"KB dok naik sini. naik kat Risda."

i was about to explode to him that i board one trans to Besut at that exact terminal a few months ago. but i kept my calm and ran back to my sis. sure she was mad because:

a. the ticket clearly stated the place to board was Hentian Risda.
b. my brother, who bought the ticket for me, told me that the place to board was Risda.
c. my father, who had tonnes of experiences of sending his kids up north on a bus, know for a fact that the place to board was Risda and in fact, had told my mother that to tell me that.
d. i had, based on my experience months ago, told my sis to send me all the way to the Geliga station.
e. there were throngs of a certain opposing political parties' supporters just flooded the Geliga station which made our way back to Risda was, again, like a snail who just had a big lunch.

anyway~ we made it to Risda. but was a tad too late. i was on the verge of tears when a man at the bus stop told me that i just missed the bus. seeing my eyes going red perhaps, that man encouraged me to chase the bus. i told him thank you and went back into my sis' car. we talked, she told me to call Ma and so i did. then Ma, a very smart woman, told us to call the bus company. i guess it was my lucky day. the usual ticket wouldn't have the company's operation office's number stamped on the ticket but mine had. so we called the office, the office gave us the driver's number and so we called. my sis talked to them actually, i was numb and could not literally, spoke properly. we convinced (well, she did) the bus driver to drive a bit slower because we were trying to catch up with it.

the bus eventually stopped at the Masjid Meraga Beris to wait for me to catch up. the driver was annoyed, but the fact that he actually stopped and waited were more than enough. i don't need him to smile. i just needed his help. thank you, 'pakcik' in red uniform. and the other 'pakcik' too, for driving fast enough that i reached Jerteh at ample time for me to perform Zuhur.

from Jerteh, i hitched a ride with my classmate to get to our 'maktab' in Kg. Raja. i was so thankful that i am determined, i should treat that classmate sometime. taxi would've cost me RM20 - an amount which i could not just spend lavishly for a ride. allowance'll be a bit late.

so basically, i have 4 people to say thanks to:
1. my sis. thank you so much for having the patient to drive all the way to Geliga and then went back and straight to Kijal because i was wrong. thank you.
2. the 'pakcik' drivers of Transnasional bus company for today's route Kemaman-Kota Bharu. had it not been for you, i sure had to face a lot of scolding today. not just from my sis.
3. my classmate (who shall remain anonymous) for picking me up in Jerteh. or else my fund would be running lower than it already is.

moral of the story -> if your bus is due at 10.30, go out at 10.15 and make sure you have the driver's number at hand. it'll be fun.

^the said ticket. see the red stamp? my precious.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

fever everywhere

i think it's a virus. grab a H1N1 mask everyone. it's open sesame..eh2.. open season. to my fevering friends, good luck.
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