Khadeja was coughing and having trouble breathing last night so Kak Lang (her mother) and Ayah (her grandfather) ran her to the emergency room (with me tagging along as a bag-holder). it was 2.30 in the morning and i have never go to the hospital at 2.30 in the morning. this will be quite an experience, i thought to myself. as i was getting ready (putting on tudung, wearing the jacket and everything) i thought to myself, hmm, probably won't need the tablet to fill my time (i regret that less than 30 minutes after the decision was made).
the doctor checked her breathing and decided it sounded like an asthma so she had Khadeja breath through a concentration of liquid which a machine turns into cold, smoky gas (but no smell). Khadeja didn't like it. i know how she felt (been there quite a few times).
anyhow, a bit later the doctor asked me to leave (well, emergency room is not for everybody. just the person having the emergency - except if you're a baby, then the mother have to come in too). so i stood outside the emergency room, with Ayah reading some pieces of a newspaper he found outside the waiting room and Abang Khair (my brother-in-law a.k.a Khadeja's father) arriving in the distance. Abang Khair went straight into the emergency room after talking to Ayah for a bit.
back-story: Abang Khair is staying in his house and Kak Lang is staying at the family house because they had come to an arrangement that Khadeja is too little to be travelling in the car every morning. Kak Lang was supposed to start work today and since KL and AK work in two opposite places, only AK is suitable to be sending Khadeja to our house in the morning (for Ma to take care of her until her parents got back from work. typical working parents stuff). so now, for a month or two, KL will be staying at the family house until Khadeja is old enough to sit in the car seat for toddlers.
the cold air of Chukai breezed slowly. buses kept arriving and stopping in front of Center Point. had a few experience with the travel time myself, i'm pretty sure those buses were from Kuala Lumpur. it was close to 3.15am. i couldn't simply sleep on the bench outside the waiting room because, well, it would be inappropriate. besides, the benches were the furthest thing from a 'comfortable bench'.
so i was thinking.
this is what every parent will endure. maybe not rushing to the hospital at 2.30 in the morning but rushing to hospital, at one point, you will be. for various reasons. and the worries doesn't stop once they grew up. you constantly worries about them. but these first few years will be the worst. they can't tell you what's wrong but they don't sound too happy. if they have itches on their skin or phlegm in their throats - you don't know what's wrong and you can't help them! it's the worst feeling for a parent i imagined.
and even if your baby is healthy and happy all the time because Allah have blessed you with a most gloriously healthy baby, you still have to wake up in the middle of the night because the baby craves milk. more like, hunger. because a baby needs to be fed every few hours. they nurse a lot, pee a lot, poop a lot, sleep in between those things. the mother is especially tired. and if you're working the next day, you gonna have to try to stay awake. good luck cause you can't have coffee. you're nursing.
Kak Lang's experience really scares me. for now, i can't even balance my time for all the school stuff i have to do. i can't imagine having a baby in the middle of all this. and i am a full-time student. all that i have to worry about is about my study. i have no other worldly concerns and i cannot even have an imaginary baby in my mind. even Pou keeps starving in my tab. *sigh*
so before we all think about taking that next, HUMONGOUS step with your future better-half, (because kahwin awal is all the rage these days) think about the ordeal a child can put you through and ask yourself this question;
"are you anywhere near ready for it?"
................................
but seriously, those big starry eyes? Kak Lang says it's worth it.
