Two weeks ago, I had two falling outs with two different parties at an eeriely close time. The first was with a few students I had become close to following our meetings during their examination preparation period. We're having this falling out because they felt uncomfortable with my judgement regarding their newly founded relationships with their fellow classmates. And by relationship I mean relationship, relationship. This was unfortunate because I had grown very fond of them and even considered keeping a close relationship with them even after they finish school. Obviously, I was saddened by the situation. I thought me passing judgment wouldn't be a big deal because I was their teacher, isn't passing judgment part of my job description? I guess we were a bit too casual and they took my words as my disapproval. Which was correct but they didn't have to stay away. They don't have to stay away.
The second falling out was with a close, very dear friend. Let me preface this by stating that I had no intention of stealing them away from their significant other. Stealing them away would be wrong. I wasn't born yesterday. But somehow they thought I was being careless, absent-mindedly mentioning that we meet all the time to anyone who would listen. I don't, but sometimes I drop their name in conversations because we talk all the time and I needed a subject matter. That is all. We go way back. And now I don't know if we'll be friends again. I don't want to if they're going to pull something like this again. I can't take it. Falling outs break my heart.
These events had me heartbroken so badly that my mother felt something was wrong so she called and asked. The call made me realize it has been two weeks. Two horrible, depressing weeks with nightmares and general unhappiness.
So far, I have no clue how to get out of the funk. The falling outs haven't been repaired, and I don't see that it will be in the near future.
Hope? Hopefully I will feel happy again soon. Haven't been happy for a while.
Update: I made up with the kids. It was magical. I don't know when they became important for me because it happened almost instantly, but I am glad we made up. It's nice to be wanted. I wonder if they feel the same way.
