it's when i know i shouldn't the most is when i'll just keep a straight face a do it anyway =='

when will it stop? i mean, i see my friends just going on with their lives like hormone isn't always there to make their world go crazy. i know my hormone does that to me... T____T

on the second thought, i don't want it to go away. i want to keep being myself (and trying to improve everyday because we never know which breath might be the last) & just enjoy life. everyday is a new experience and meeting new people is exciting - that is, people who are friendly. (i'm not the friendliest person in the world, have to admit that, unless to people who showed friendliness to me first. aha. a bit of a proud eh? not really. just minding my own business =p)

and so recently, i found a link to an interesting blog on fb. interesting article that is.

she's a 19-year-old, a matriculation-leaver & the same goes to her boyfriend. they've been together for six years and they just don't think they should hold on any longer so they decided to get married. the interesting part is, her father gave the blessing (for them to get married at this age) BEFORE she had the courage to ask (getting married is kind of a big deal, you see. especially when they are both jobless & higher-education-less. yeah, i made that word up. but you see my point right?). meaning to say, her father agreed upon the marriage & actually, kind of encouraging it.

so they got married early, so what? lots of people did that across the globe. my parents did that. so what is my problem with them?

none, really. i'm happy that they decided to make their relationship a 'halal' one and completing half of the faith (menyempurnakan separuh agama). all's well that ends well. whatever that means.

but....

there's another opinion from another blog which are saying that yes, love is fine, love is great and especially when everything, and i do mean everything, every hijabs in between are now gone.

but love isn't everything that makes for a successful marriage now is it?

there a few more vital and super-important points which will make for an astute foundation of a marriage. for instance, when the flame dies (and rest assured, the flame will die), it's the sense of belonging, the attachment to each other that will keep the marriage alive. i read a research once that if after 4 years together and you still feel like your partner is the one then maybe you are made for each other. (the 19-year-old couple have been together for 6 years; so maybe it is true love). if you don't feel like you belong to each other anymore then surely that's not the one.

but who has 4 years to waste on finding true love? nobody. you may say "hey, that's life. c'est la vie. deal with it." and then i'll say "i have no 4 years to waste on one person trying to figure out if he's the one. and that 4 years surely are not 4 of the best-est years of my life. surely maksiat will be a big part of my life, now that i'm determined to make sure if he's the one. and so does his." 


is there no other way about it? i mean, i'm jealous that my friends can stroll about around the campus with a boyfriend in hand, proudly posting on fb that she's got someone special. i'm dead jealous. should i find one too and stick with him for 4 years, see if it'll work out?

i don't have that kind of luxury nor do i know if i'll live that long, or longer (so that i'll have time to repent for all that i did during the 4 years courting ==')

Islam has a way. and trust me when i say (ini pulak Ramadhan tak baiklah nak menipu kan? tak boleh nak kata syaitan yang suruh menipu. heee....:p) if you ask from Him, He will grant. it's just a matter of time. and if He doesn't grant it here, you'll get it in the hereafter. we planned, He planned too. His plans are the greatest.

when your heart goes bila cinta ini, tak lagi bermakna, yang kurasa kini hanyalah nestapa... 
or maybe you prefer english love songs like this love is unbreakable, it's unmistakable, each time i look in your eyes... 
and you kind of want to say saya suka awak, i love you, aishiteru, saranghaeyo, wo ai neee....

turn to Him and ask Him in your prayers. istikharah. my father always says istikharah is not just for big decisions. small daily decisions in life can lead to a big mistake sometimes. that's why total dependence on Him is the best way.

if your istikharah doesn't exactly answer you, see how you feel after the prayer. it may take days, months maybe before you can get you answer but surely if you have to wait that long (months, i mean) that means he/she isn't really the one? i don't know. you'll know it yourself.

and so, telling you to tell me that when the lovebug bites, take it to the Creator of the bug. He knows why the bug bit - and if you should give in to the powerful poison the bug brought with the sting ;)

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