the truth about friendzone; friendzoning or friendzoned

oke first off, if you have never heard of or maybe flip through a few pages of 9gag, you'd probably wonder what is the meaning of the title above. but i think the term "friendzone" is so widely used now, i must say i'm quite surprised that the red squiggly line still appears under it.

friendzone refers to the mythical place where a guy or a gal is placed at when the person that the said guy or gal was interested in did not reciprocate the feelings and doing so in a pretty rude way. or not. either way, the other person is not as interested and wished to just stay as friends. hence, the name friendzone.

credit: http://9gag.com/gag/168798

get it? 

i think all of us, if we're being really honest, have been friendzoned and friendzoning people in our lives (oh well, maybe not if you're a foreveralone guy). friendzone sucks, but that doesn't mean we've never done it and it is impossible to avoid friendzone because someday the guy/gal you like does not feel the same and someday the guy/gal you consider your best-friend-forever turns out has feelings for you. it's just the way things are.

so, this post NOT about how to get out of the friendzone. for those of you who have arrived here because of my interesting post title, thank you very much. hope to see you again.

i think i have been at both sides. i have the stories and i think it's about time i share it with the world (or, you know, whoever that happens upon this post) because i have to say, when we were friendzoned we'd feel like the guy's a son-of-a-$%^&* or the gal's a #$%^& but if we'd really think about it, we've done the same to other people. like ted (HIMYM) said, "it's a vicious cycle". 

How I Was Friendzoned 

so there's this guy in my class, we've texted each other, chatting on facebook, posts on walls and whatnots and this was going on for a really long time. i think for about 3-4 months. and i started it so i think it's pretty obvious that i'd want something more than just a friendship (urghh..that sounds cheesy. isn't it cheesy?) and then suddenly,  we stopped texting. okay not so suddenly but gradually until one day i realize, we never text random worthless piece-of-crap to each other anymore. and when my fb chat does show his message, it's for asking for class notes or homework because he's sometimes too much of a lazy bum to go to class. that's when i realized, "i was on the hook". the fb chat message was the best thing that could've happen to me. it got me off his hook. (or also maybe because i had my attention on someone else at the time. wait, was i friendzoned by the guy or was i the one who did the friendzoning? *tsk*. now i sound like a #$%^&)

anyway, if you ask me, the guy friendzoned me because he led me on for a few months and i gave hints. i gave him A LOT of hints. 

How I, Friendzoned Someone

ok, i'll try not to sound like a stuck-up #$%^& here. because being friendzoned sucks, i get it. it's hard to accept the fact that the one that you like, adore, interested in and pretty much would give anything to be with is not AS INTERESTED to be with you. i get that. and i'm not even pretty enough to turn away gentlemen at my doors so i know how being rejected feels like. 

but in this story, i subtly rejected him. 

so he's also a classmate and he's been interested in me for a few years (wow, i'm a #$%^&) but i did not and frankly, cannot reciprocate his feelings. and one fine year, he was finally okay to settle as friends with me (as i'm writing this, i can't believe how stupid i was being. of course he wasn't fine! i've been in his shoes with other guys before - i should've known exactly how that feels).

when we were friends, he never mention anything about being together or anything like that but when we were supposed to separate (because i'm headed one way and he was heading another) he told me he loved me - always have, all those years. and on my following birthday, he gave me a present (something that you can wear). when he asked me later if i ever wear it, i said no because i don't wanna ruin it. but he knows that me never wearing his present means i don't wanna be with him. 

it was heartbreaking for everyone. our friendship ended. we swapped messages once in a while but we are not really friends anymore.     

so i don't really have the advice for the friendzoned and the friendzoning people out there about how to handle things when you were friendzoned and when you can't help but to friendzone people. but speaking from experience, i guess;

for the friendzoned:
don't take it so hard, man. yes, it sucks. it's worst feeling in the world. (okay, first world. maybe not for the third world) but that doesn't mean the world has ended. it feels like it but it's not. sooner or later you'll find someone else. someone that will appreciate the gestures that you would or probably have done for the friendzoning what's-the-name who doesn't appreciate you. if anything, it's he/she who's at loss.
if you're a Muslim, a word of advice, man up and say it straight to her when you are sure of your feelings (and that too, of course, after istikharah and everything). better yet, go and see OR call her parents and see if you can get their blessing to have their daughter's hands in marriage. go for it!!  i mean, what else is dating for? Malay's culture, however don't look too keen about women who fess up and ask a man to marry her but hey, it's 2012. maybe it's time someone do it. (although i am hoping i don't have to do it)

for the friendzoning:
it's like robin (HIMYM) said: "our girl parts are like a spiderweb. sometimes you're going to catch stuff you don't want."
but that doesn't make it okay. if you cannot reciprocate someone's feelings towards you, let him/her down gently. people are fragile. and yes, when you break someone's heart, someone else will come around and break your heart. be sure of that. letting people down doesn't necessarily mean you're going to smash their hearts to pieces - use soothing words and motivational crap but NEVER, EVER say:

"We can still be friends."

it just hurts. it just hurts people.
and i don't write this post because i was recently friendzoned. i am procrastinating from studying for finals. tata!

   

that was horrifying

my retinas were just tortured by the first half of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. i don't want to watch the other half. i feel violated.

i guess i should find a summary of it somewhere to know how it ends. i should've stick to the Ghibli Studios movies. =.=

cukup-cukuplah mengganggu hidup!

kalau tidak terganggu, tidak terjejas, tidak hairan langsung dengan apa yang hidup bawa untuk dirimu, mungkin dirimu sudah terlalu terjejas atau bahasa mudahnya, sudah gila dibuat dunia! kasarkah? maaf tetapi tiada maaf yang akan dipinta. jangan terlalu bimbang apa yang orang akan rasa akibat kata-kata atau perbuatanmu bila kamu tidak menyanggah hukum Tuhan. dan orang juga jarang hendak menjaga perasaan kamu!

bukan tentang orang yang menyinggung perasaan orang yang ingin orang ini tulis.

ini orang yang mengganggu perasaan.

ini orang yang mengganggu diri.

ini orang yang mulai bertukar menjadi novelis apabila dirinya diserang angin merah jambu. (lagi? tiada warna lainkah? jujurnya warna kesukaanku itu biru. biru tidak bolehkah? tidak! biru itu lembut nyaman aman. merah jambu itu membara, panas, hangat dan menyerabutkan otak. sesuai untuk jenis perasaan yang dibawa oleh warna merah jambu itu.)

seikhlas hati aku katakan: aku tidak faham bagaimana orang lain 'menambat' perasaan mereka kepada satu, 1, SATU orang sahaja (yes, i'm talking about the petty matters of the relationship between a guy and a gal. deal with it). pada aku selagi tiada "aku nikahkan dikau..." dan "aku terima nikahnya...", why bothers 'menambat' perasaan itu? berjanji? ada perkataan lain untuk itu - bertunang. or in english: engagement. sebabnya selagi aku tidak berjanji makanya kamu ('pasangan' kita itu) tidak ada hak untuk menyekat aku, memaksa aku, memerintah aku atau apa-apa sahaja yang menampakkan seolah-olah kamu ada some sort of power ke atas aku. (kenapa aku semakin berbunyi ke-indon-nan ini? -,-)

aku berada di sini, Besut bumi Ulul Albab, tidak sampai lagi dua tahun dan dalam tempoh itu aku sudah pun have a crush on quite a few number of guys - dengan setiap orang pada berlainan masa dan dengan sebab-sebab khusus yang pada masa berlakunya crush itu, aku rasa sebab-sebab khusus akulah sebab-sebab khusus terbaik di dunia!

oleh sebab itu, aku sedang memohon dalam hati:

Ya Allah. Kuatkanlah hatiku, jiwaku, perasaanku, pancainderaku, dan segala apa yang Kau kurnia sebagai pinjaman kepadaku, untuk menghadapi ujian yang sudah sering Kau bagi padaku ini.
aku bersyukur atas ujian ini. ujianMu tidak akan lebih dari kemampuanku kerana Engkau Maha Mengetahui, ya Allah.
Ya Allah, jika ini sudah sampai orangnya yang Kau tulis di Luh Mahfuz, maka Engkau pimpinlah hati-hati kami.jika bukan ya Allah, jika ini masih lagi salah satu ujianMu ya Allah, maka teguhkanlah aku untuk menghadapinya.

masanya sudah tiba!

ok. i just realized that it's almost mid-year and my posts here for this year are only 10! lousy, lamey (lamey?) TEN! this won't do!

so i've decided to write about this weekend. (ok not that fun. but i still wanna!) please forgive me for using a lot of '!' in this post. i'm not mad. i'm just - enthusiastic. hihi.


so yesterday, like, A LOT of people came up to me and asked if i'm going home. and plus, izzatiisa asked about a million times (she's not going home and her roommate does and she feels alone. haha XD) i think people kept asking because i'm like, i don't care if it's only TWO days! i'm gonna go home! (yes, i am that dramatic). but this weekend, i don't know.

so, i didn't even though it's a three-day weekend. not feeling like wasting all that time on the bus and money too (33 X 2 = 66 ringgit everytime i go back home). plus, my room is a disaster. i should practice to be a better woman (and this better-woman practice fever only comes around when i'm in <3 with someone. *sigh* - so i should make full use of it^-^) and by PRACTICING, i meant CLEANING. (by the time this post is written, the room is yet to be cleaned >.<)

okay. izzatiisa and i watched mission impossible 4 last night. it was great. i make a lot of sounds which i thought might have bothered my roommate (no, she's not home this weekend) who was sleeping but when i asked her in the morning, she was like, "nah.. i didn't hear much. i only woke up in the morning." which is cool.

tom cruise is still handsome since the last MI that i saw. i bet people says that a lot but i wanna say it too. haha.

so today izzatiisa asks me to go to pasar kuala besut with her. i agreed. so TAC2142, gonna need your assistance today!

later. (nanti nak tulis post lagi. hihi. sikit post tahun ni sikit! nak banyak!)

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