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to start off, let me just say that i am, for most of the time, doesn't do well as a leader. sad but true. but there have been a couple of times when people ask me to lead and when they do, i take my responsibility seriously. even if people don't think that i do (okay, not the same group of people who appointed me leader, obviously).
i'm rambling.
okay. so, over a month ago, the lecturer of one of my subject (let's call the subject Sounds & How to Make It) appointed me as one of the group leaders for his assignment. i was surprised - i was not the brightest in his class but he chose me anyway. i was fine with it but then comes the time to find my group members. i needed 3 people under me (because the lect said so) and so i was taking it slow.
but suddenly, no one is available anymore. even my closest friends (backstabbing people, they are. which is why they are my best friend ^_^) were already in other people's groups. so i was forced to find whoever's left and have them to become my group members. after much talk and discussions later, i had three people in my group. i like all three of them. yeay me!
so we went on doing the assignment. the process took over several months but i think we did great and we managed to submit it on time.
just one little thing i'd like to write here so that someday, if people do this to me again, i'd remember. and i'd hold myself taller and stronger.
let's call my group members A, B and C.
i asked A, "should we do just one reflection, or four reflections; one for each of us?"
A said, "let's have four. i'll ask B and C to write theirs down and attach it to your Facebook chat."
then i said okay.
then they attached it to me. later, i found out that our lect didn't want four, he just wanted one reflection. but since everybody's wrote down their, i decided to combine all four reflections into one.
i read B's reflection. it was fine. like mine and A's.
then i read C's reflection.
my heart stopped a bit. (a little pun here for you pun-lovers out there ^_^)
C said this, in the reflection;
"at the beginning, there was a bit of an unfairness of difficulty of work which threatened the very foundation of teamwork"
&
"i suggest a different CHAIRPERSON next time which can encourage teamwork"
(a bit broken but i think what C's trying to say is that i'm not a good enough leader, in a few ways)
i literally wrote the whole report (the assignment) with A. the report wasn't an easy one. i had to scour the internet like i haven't met the internet before. i had to read research after research, journal after journal, work into the wee hours of the night just because of the report. i came up with an invention based on the report (which A helped polished it up after that). i cannot stress it enough that the report literally AGED me a little bit (wow i use a lot of "literally" =.=). that's how tense the report is.
and C was saying that i'm not good enough?
i cried so hard after reading C's reflection that my head seemed to hurt. i have never received criticism that careless, that thoughtless before. what if i didn't read the reflection beforehand? what if i've send that? our lect will probably give me a lower mark based on that reflection.
A calmed me down and i told her my room-mate suggested we do a whole new reflection and A agreed. so we did (well, B did) a new reflection and everything stays between us. until now.
i guess the moral is, sometimes it doesn't matter how much work you do - people give you crap anyway. you know it, Allah knows it. that's all that matters.
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