wordless sunday

well, not very wordless. a few words here and there. more like a WORDLESS PICTURE BOOK. get it? probably not =___=

Amni =)

yes, that duck-facing gal is my niece

precious

her abah

about to be demolished

find: KL Convention Centre

Crowne Plaza; also about to be demolished

**all pictures were taken by using Samsung Galaxy Ace

chocolate sandwich cake

(haha, cake again...=_____=)

after Subuh this morning, i looked at my phone for today's date. 1st December. there are two birthdays in November. Kak Lang on the 6th. whose the other?
then i remembered. Mum's on the 25th. Allah. forgot already! =.=

then i quickly browsed the cake book for a recipe that's pretty easy and Ma (how i call my mum) should like it. (Ma doesn't like chocolate cake, she prefers simple butter cake)

i came across this one:

= Chocolate Sandwich Cake =

ingredients A
190g butter
200g golden caster sugar (i just used plain old white sugar)
1 tsp vanilla essence
3 eggs (beaten)
120ml evaporated milk
150g chocolate buttons (i used chocolate bar that i chopped into pieces)

ingredients B (sifted) - but i didn't sift. it's up to you, really.
150g plain flour
150g self-raising flour (but you know what, i don't have self-raising flour just lying around so i used 300g of plain flour, what you gonna do?)
30g custard powder
1/2 tsp baking powder (i used 1tsp. do the math yourself)

method
1. set butter aside till softened before using it. add sugar, vanilla essence, eggs, evaporated milk and ingredients B, mix well.
2. pour 1/2 of the mixture into 9" round baking mould based with paper (i just laced with some butter). sprinkle chocolate buttons irregularly, then pour the remaining mixture in.
3. bake at 175 degree celcius for 45-50 mins.

afterwards, i got it out and Ma cut it after Ayah said a doa for Ma's health and well-being. :D

the love of my life

may Allah bless you always Ma. <3 :=":" p="p" you="you">

kisah pengepit kain

lari dari kebiasaan sekejap. lagipun selalu sangat dah bercerita dalam bahasa omputeh. karang anak tak reti cakap melayu pulak. kata patriotik.

okay campur-campurlah kot sebab memang kualiti bahasa melayu aku menurun sangat sejak mula belajar TESL ni. bukanlah IPG tak sediakan kursus bahasa melayu untuk semester-semester tertentu tapi biasalah, bukan major. kadang-kadang nak membentuk struktur ayat bahasa melayu yang tepat pun jadi kelam-kabut. macam bagus je kan tak pun sebenarnya. bahasa inggeris pun biasa-biasa je.

ok cerita pengepit kain tu macam ni: hari Jumaat haritu ajak la kak long pergi Mesra Mall (gah la jugak kat Terengganu + Kelantan sebab kat situ je ada panggung, walhal Pahang berlambak je panggungs) sebab bosan katanya dan in need of some new reading materials. biasa la cuti aku cari novel. tak luar biasa la tu. sampai Mesra Mall dah lewat petang jadi kak long ajak dinner dulu di food court sementara tunggu Maghrib.

last-last jadi lewat sangat sampai nak pergi solat Maghrib tu kak long ajak tunggu Isyak terus (Isyak awal, 8.06 dah Isyak) jadi kami bergegas ke surau Mesra Mall yang kecik dan sendat dengan semua jenis manusia muslim yang mengejar waktu Maghrib. selepas tunggu beberapa orang di giliran berwuduk (paipnya cuma 2,3 lagi yang masih elok, yang lain rosak) berjayalah aku berwuduk dan cepat menyarung telekung dan menunaikan solat Maghrib.

sujud pertama, aku terasa kesakitan di tulang antara lutut dengan kaki (orang kampung aku kata 'tulang kering'. aku tak tahulah orang kampung lain kata apa?)

ha tu lah tulangnya. sakit sangat seolah tulang kering aku menindih sesuatu yang keras dan possibly tajam jugak. tapi takdelah rasa nak berdarah. Tuhan. aku berfikir macam mana aku nak survive 5 kali sujud lagi ni? tak campur duduk antara dua sujud dengan tahiyat awal + akhir lagi. tak khusyuk aku. dah la memang susah sungguh nak khusyuk. lalu aku pun agak 'menjingkit' (orang kampung aku = jenjet) tapak kaki supaya tulang kering tu tak rapat sangat dengan benda alah yang ada di antara lantai dengan kaki aku tu. macam tulah aku sampai tahiyat akhir. macam mana aku survive duduk 2 sujud dgn tahiyat awal akhir semua tu? jangan tanyalah. cuba beralih sambil tahan sakit.

elok sudah solat Maghrib, aku tak ingat langsung dah apa yang sakit tadi. aku sangkakan zip seluar trek aku yang besar + tajam sangat jadi tak terlintas langsung dalam fikiran aku nak cek. lepas aku usai solat Maghrib pun tak lama dah nak Isyak and guess what? Isyak tiba lalu aku langsung bangun dan angkat takbir. tak ingat dah sakit sungguh tulang kering tadi.

sujud pertama tiba dengan ingatan yang berdering macam loceng kebakaran time prektis dekat sekolah dulu. Allahuakbar. macam mana boleh tak ingat nak alih zip seluar tadi bagi tepi sikit. ish. takpe. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. kesakitan itu kafarah. you know your sins. it's good to be paying some while you're alive. dan bertaubatlah. semoga Allah terima dan ampuni.

sesudah lapan kali sujud dan lapan kali duduk (semua jenis duduk yang anda perform dalam solat Isyak), aku bawa kaki kanan ke depan dan aku cek zip. eh. mana ada zip kat depan. zip seluar kat tepi. cek, cek. ada benda dalam seluar. besar.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku. PENGEPIT KAIN yang pesen kayu tu ada sebatang tersangkut kat benang-benang terurai dalam seluar aku. patutlah sakit! nak gelak pun ada. adoi. nak cerita kat kak long, kak long tak sudah solat Isyak lagi.

itulah kisah si pengepit kain.

puding gula hangus @ caramel pudding

okay i'm not sure if in english people call it caramel pudding, but whatever right? oh, i read in youtube it's probably similar to creme brulee, except for the blowtorch-ing part.

so i have this friend who has been bugging me to learn to cook. i admit i am lacking in that department (and still am) but i want to. it just doesn't happen yet. teheee :p

meanwhile, that friend asked me to bake (well, not exactly a cake, so 'make' is probably more suitable) a 'puding gula hangus' or 'puding karamel'. i have never, but it is a pudding so how hard can it be? (stuck-up much? =___=) so i googled a recipe for it & here it is.

(thank you, Alia@myresipi  http://www.kongsiresepi.com/read/60/0/)

Ingredients:
- 400ml fresh milk/evaporated milk
- 5 tbsp fine sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 egg yolks (but you know what, i wanna use 4 whole eggs and i may if i please :D)
- 2-3 drops of vanilla essence
(for the caramel)
- 5 tbsp sugar
- 2 tbsp water

Instructions:
(prepare the caramel)
- put the sugar inside a pot with 1 tbsp of water. cook with moderate heat until it turns brown-ish. pour another tbsp of water. brown it up and pour inside a container of which you will steam the pudding later.
(the pudding)
- pour the eggs inside a bowl and while stirring the eggs, slowly pour the fine sugar. stir to perfection. try to avoid bubbles.
- in another pot, pour the milk together with the vanilla essence. cook on low heat up until 60 degree-ish. don't let it boil.
- slowly pour the moderately-hot milk inside the bowl of eggs mixture. stir.
- pour inside the container which contains the caramel of earlier.
- steam for about 30 minutes. let cool. in the fridge of you please.
- voila!

before upside-down, after steamed :)

upside-down and marvelous-looking :D

potong sikit -___-

that's it. now i'm gonna enjoy the pudding :)

bitter it may be

but you should always tell the truth. and here's some tough love for equal-righteous Malaysians out there.

i really don't feel comfortable picking a fight with anyone. especially with strangers who feel the right to voice their opinions out loud. just because they've chosen to let people know, doesn't always mean they are right. or correct.

you talk about unity, about equal rights. i read somewhere that this woman says DrM and UMNO screwed up Tunku Abdul Rahman's concept of unity. well was it different? there was a time before DrM "rules the land", the concept of unity was different?

i don't wanna talk about that because i have no knowledge about it. as far as i'm concern, the concept of unity was more or less, the same. where did it go wrong?

i really, really don't wanna sound like a Malay supremacist (like a white supremacist? i've watched The Help starring the pretty Emma Stone) but if, IF, Malays don't fight for their own ketuanan Melayu in their own Tanah Melayu, who's gonna fight for them? i'm a Malay myself so i sound a little bit supremacist-like now don't i? so how about anyone crack open the book written by Dr. Ridhuan Tee Abdullah Nasib Melayu di Bumi Melayu and then you'll know better. (here's a link, go buy one http://mphonline.com/books/nsearchdetails.aspx?&pcode=9789676124210). as you may have already know, the writer of the book is a Chinese. so there really is no question of Malay-supremacy in his writings. except of course those vicious slanders people say about him - which are ridiculous because hey, he's a Chinese for God sake.

to those who are too lazy to go find the book or have decided in their heads that it's not worth their time, well i'll say it here then.

and now i'm talking directly to the Malays. no i'm not racist. i love my "Malaysian" friends (i can't use the term "races" like "friends from other races" because that woman that i talked about before, she demanded that we use the term "Malaysians" which is fine by me) and i am good friends with some of them. 

we Malays, WE, do not hold this country's ECONOMIC power. ponder on that for a while. 

so if we don't hold POLITICAL power, what do we have then?

(this is the 'tough love' part) we have to realize straight up that the Chinese are holding the economic power of this country. and we have to realize that with the economic power, they can bring the whole country down if they want to. just think of one day of Chinese New Year when all the business owned by the Chinese closed down. it's a ghost town from i where i came from. and i live in a town where the Malays are the majority of the population. that is saying something.

just...what is us without politics? i'm going to have to ask you to look at the Malays in Singapore. i don't know about you but i know Singapore was a setting for a lot of allahyarham Tan Sri P. Ramlee's movies. surely that means Singapore was majorly populated by Malays? so..umm... where are they now? never heard a Malay is the Prime Minister for Singapore. it's been three Chinese from the first prime minister and they are all from the same party. nobody gives a rat's ass.

it's simple logic. i don't even know a lot about what's going on in Singapore and i can make that connection.  

i want Malaysians to unite, i do. to become one. to have all Malaysians speak PERFECT Malay and no discrimination between the races. like how the Chinese in Indonesia doesn't call themselves "Chinese", they call themselves "Indonesians". or the Chinese in Thailand too. 

why haven't we been able to be totally, unequivocally united?  

let me ask (anyone who read this) something that has been bugging me for a few months already:

why do we still have vernacular school? i'm a future teacher so i know for a fact that vernacular schools still exist. sure the name is not "vernacular" anymore (like when we were under British's colonization), it's "Sekolah Jenis Kebangsaan @ SJK". we are the ONLY COUNTRY in the WORLD which still has different school for different races. that's a bit racist don't you think? is it the government which is still very much discriminating the races by segregating the schools?

NO. or else we wouldn't have the word "kebangsaan" in every school's name. we would only have "sekolah rendah"s and "sekolah menengah"s (primary and secondary school, respectively).  

truth is, if we want to be united, we should start early. from the very start of life. you say we are not united as one? try and unite our schools first, then we can talk. 

p/s: i am not saying that the government is 100%, all-time correct on their track record. i mean come on, this year's independence day theme? it's a bad joke. among other things. 

what happened last thursday

okay so last thursday, i went to that big hall of ours because of the ERIP (ekspo reka cipta & inovasi?) and seminars for our semester 8-ers and me, as an avid photographer (and also, a KSM-sniper) went snapping pictures here and there at the event.

and then there was this Dr. Zailah (philosophy, not medical) giving a very interesting speech and from what i can gather from my friends, she was awesome. well it's not like i wasn't in the hall, i was at back of the hall so i couldn't hear very well. and also, i was talking to classmate/fellow sniper, adzim.

and boy did adzim clarified something to me!

there's this guy, that one of my girlfriends, hidayah, has had a crush on since forever. so i started taking his pictures covertly (using adzim as a decoy, haha!) and afterwards, sighing contentedly; "so...handsome.." (with droopy eyes and all). adzim was mimicking vomiting - as what normal guys should do (i only have my two brothers as a reference for what normal guys do =.=)

here comes the important part of the story:
and suddenly, adzim asked me.
"if he's handsome, then how about X?"
i was taken aback. i was like, no adzim. why would you ask such question?
(background info: i used to text X all the time, and then suddenly we stopped so i thought the rumours would just flew by)
then i said to adzim.
"what about him? he doesn't even like me." (okay, that escalated quickly. haha.)

adzim's face turned serious. like i was telling something wrong and he's about to correct me.

"hey. he admitted differently to me recently."

as usual, my reaction to these kind of statement was calling the bearer of the news a liar and proceed saying he's/she's lying for a few minutes. after adzim swore, (okay, i wrote he swore to God but that sounds wayy serious so i backspaced) i fell silent. adzim teased me for like 10 seconds and then he stopped.

on a totally different time and setting after that, adam asked me:

"if you know that someone is secretly admiring you, would you go for it?"

that was a very heavy question. truth is, i don't know. what should i go for adam? honestly, there has always been one guide from Ayah regarding such matters and i haven't been able to use it (i think i've wrote it in this blog somewhere).

Ayah told me:
"if there ever comes a time when a gentleman approaches you, tell him that you still have Ayah and Ma, alive and well. tell him, if he's really serious, then come see Ma and Ayah. you are still ours - me and your Ma. we are your guardians thus it is only appropriate if one wants the key to have you, one should come to us."
(okay obviously my Ayah doesn't speak english all that well. i paraphrased him. he told me this guide in our mother-tongue of course, silly you.)

so adam, that's the answer to your question. and the situation has never been "a gentleman approaches.." so, the guide has never been used. squeaky-clean, sparkling, new. not even out of the plastic-wrapper yet. i am still waiting for someone to make me get the guide out of the box.

my recent assignment

from  redribbonboutique.blogspot.com

to start off, let me just say that i am, for most of the time, doesn't do well as a leader. sad but true. but there have been a couple of times when people ask me to lead and when they do, i take my responsibility seriously. even if people don't think that i do (okay, not the same group of people who appointed me leader, obviously).

i'm rambling.

okay. so, over a month ago, the lecturer of one of my subject (let's call the subject Sounds & How to Make It) appointed me as one of the group leaders for his assignment. i was surprised - i was not the brightest in his class but he chose me anyway. i was fine with it but then comes the time to find my group members. i needed 3 people under me (because the lect said so) and so i was taking it slow.

but suddenly, no one is available anymore. even my closest friends (backstabbing people, they are. which is why they are my best friend ^_^) were already in other people's groups. so i was forced to find whoever's left and have them to become my group members. after much talk and discussions later, i had three people in my group. i like all three of them. yeay me!

so we went on doing the assignment. the process took over several months but i think we did great and we managed to submit it on time.

just one little thing i'd like to write here so that someday, if people do this to me again, i'd remember. and i'd hold myself taller and stronger.

let's call my group members A, B and C.

i asked A, "should we do just one reflection, or four reflections; one for each of us?"
A said, "let's have four. i'll ask B and C to write theirs down and attach it to your Facebook chat."
then i said okay.

then they attached it to me. later, i found out that our lect didn't want four, he just wanted one reflection. but since everybody's wrote down their, i decided to combine all four reflections into one.

i read B's reflection. it was fine. like mine and A's.
then i read C's reflection.
my heart stopped a bit. (a little pun here for you pun-lovers out there ^_^)
C said this, in the reflection;

"at the beginning, there was a bit of an unfairness of difficulty of work which threatened the very foundation of teamwork"
&
"i suggest a different CHAIRPERSON next time which can encourage teamwork"
(a bit broken but i think what C's trying to say is that i'm not a good enough leader, in a few ways)

i literally wrote the whole report (the assignment) with A. the report wasn't an easy one. i had to scour the internet like i haven't met the internet before. i had to read research after research, journal after journal, work into the wee hours of the night just because of the report. i came up with an invention based on the report (which A helped polished it up after that). i cannot stress it enough that the report literally AGED me a little bit (wow i use a lot of "literally" =.=). that's how tense the report is.

and C was saying that i'm not good enough?

i cried so hard after reading C's reflection that my head seemed to hurt. i have never received criticism that careless, that thoughtless before. what if i didn't read the reflection beforehand? what if i've send that? our lect will probably give me a lower mark based on that reflection.

A calmed me down and i told her my room-mate suggested we do a whole new reflection and A agreed. so we did (well, B did) a new reflection and everything stays between us. until now.

i guess the moral is, sometimes it doesn't matter how much work you do - people give you crap anyway. you know it, Allah knows it. that's all that matters.        

if, only if. who knows right.

if today was your last day. tomorrow was too late. could you say goodbye to yesterday?

why, already said goodbye, i suppose. yesterday's gone. wrongs to right, probably a few. probably more than i care to remember. but if today really is my last day, i'd like to say i'm sorry for everything. if i haven't been the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend, the best anything - forgive me. i'm only mere mortal trying to fit in. i guess that's me anyway, if it's not the case for everyone.


would you live each moment like your last?

i dunno. i guess in everything that we do, we prepare our ibadah like every moment is our last but we prepare our jobs/works/tasks like we're gonna live for a thousand more years. this is easier said than done, i know. but it's better said than stuck in the throat - begging to come out but was never given the chance because of fear for criticism. critics are everywhere. tak mati dek keji, tak hidup dek puji, someone said that.


would you call old friends you'd never see?

why yes there are a few old friends i'd like to call, just because i never see them anymore. if they read this, i hope they know that i do miss them. i don't wanna name them - they'd know it in their hearts. it's amazing how time flies and the people you once called your closest friends are just not anymore. time brought you together once and time separates because that's how time works. the memories are all we've got left. so yes, had i knew, i'd call 'em.


would you forgive your enemies?

i believe we should forgive people who wronged us on a daily basis. that's the right thing to do. hard, but right. but i always have real trouble to forget the wrong things people did to me. i don't confront people, at most times because that would call for some real sincere feelings and i'm not good at that. therefore i keep a lot of the heartache to myself. i talk to some trusted people about my problems but usually just to let got of it a little. not really to problem-solve. which is stupid i know but it's better if people don't know.


would you finally fall in love?

well what is love, really? i thought i've been in love countless of times but one person actually told me that i have never fall in love with anyone because of the limitless number of "falling in love" that i have. since then, i change it to "having a crush".
but you know what, if i never see tomorrow, then i guess you should know that i think you are a really great guy. you, who told me to write to let go some of my frustrations. i don't know if i'm falling in love with you or just having a crush on you, what i do know is - you're a catch. the advice you gave me today were awesome. you sound like the most level-headed guy i've ever met (well, aside from my father and brothers). i bet most people have never seen that part of you, even though they'd probably believe it if i tell it to them. and i probably won't. and i understand if you don't feel the same way. won't be the first time.




 

so many issues, so much other things to do, so little time

well the most current one would be the one which a 16-year-old married a 14-year-old. at first i was a bit..well clueless as to how serious that really is. (well not 'serious', more like 'bizarre') and then my friend told me:

"the husband is gonna sit for SPM (Malaysia Learning Certificate? probably the correct translation?) and the wife is gonna sit for PMR (Lower-Secondary Assessment? haha. i just made up these translations as i go along :p) next year. eloklah. suami boleh ajar isteri."

and then it hit me BAM! they are only form 4 and form 2! when i was in form 2 i was not even mayyid (Terengganu slang for mumayyiz which means 'mature' or 'of age') yet. okay that's a lie but i'm serious like i was not even..haaaahhhhh...i'm at lost for words that can sufficiently describe my feelings right now. to paint a word for it, i will say that i was mad at my friend (a guy) who is of the same age as i am (20 years old) that got married recently to his 20-year-old girlfriend when both he and his wife is (well was, now) currently waiting for offers from Ministry of Higher Education to further their studies.

i find it INSANE (sorry, harsh) to just gamble (like, literally) your life and try to figure it out as you go. in some aspects, yes, not that you can help it. for example, in class. you just sit there and expect the unexpected. (well, it's better if you study first. that way it wouldn't be so hard for you to grasp it in class). like that friend of mine. what does he expect? a job right after you graduate? in this economy? i'm sorry but unless you're study medic or education in IPG (so far, IPG  grads are promised a job. even if posting might be a little bit late), it's a tough market out there. especially for fresh grads. i know how tough it is. i have five siblings who fought it in their days. some still do.


okay i should stop rambling. one thing i can say to these people who dared to face a commitment this big at such an early age, is that they got GUTS! 


may Allah's guidance and blessings be with you.  

1/2 tiramisu

why 1/2 you say? well mainly because i didn't bake the cake, only did the frosting. haha.

but still, there's a recipe to the frosting so i'm gonna share it here.

250ml whipping cream
200ml cream cheese
1/2 cup fine sugar
1 tablespoon coffee powder (nescafe lah senang cakap)
1 chiffon cake (preferably vanilla-flavoured. but i've been using pandan-flavoured, also fine what..)

so first, the frosting:
1. just mix the whipping cream, cream cheese and fine sugar by using an electric mixer. just..yeah, mix it to your heart's content. (sebati lah, orang melayu kata)
2. there's no step 2.

then, cut the cake in half. take the coffee powder and mix it in a cup of hot water. pour half of the coffee mixture onto the lower half of the cake. put half of the frosting onto it. then, put the other half on top of the frosting-covered cake and repeat the same thing.

garnish with cocoa powder.

tadaaahh...!

sorry tak comel mana. comot-comot je i buat kek ni >.<

oh, oh! got the recipe from some blog but i couldn't remember the link. she's a doctor, studied abroad but now is back in Malaysia and doing her duty to her country. thank you so much for the recipe!

my first paid job!

one would've thought that my future gig as a teacher would be the first job i'll earn money from but Allah's plans are above all others'.

last saturday was my first paid job. leen's sister (leen is my classmate, wan nurul fadzleen) was getting engaged to her boyfriend of 6 years (yes, i'm know because some of my other classmates were also there, they were asking the future bride questions and i was an eavesdropping busybody) and so leen asked me (well actually, she asked me about a month ago) if i'd be the photographer for the event. and i was like, whaaat?? you sure you want me to do it? not gonna hire a real photographer?

apparently her sister checked out my portfolio (chewaahhh...ada portfolio katanya. padahal album-album dekat fb aja pun) and was pretty okay with me being her photographer. after asking my brother (it is HIS camera, after all) whether or not should i do it, and he'd told me to go for it with condition that i'll try to adopt Adobe Photoshop CS5 into my life -.- and after consideration, i said "yeah, why not. can't hurt."

and so i went to do the job. it was fun! it's one thing to be clicking the camera, it's another thing to get paid doing that! haha. i just hope i'll be able to at least adequately use CS5 soon so that i can give the future bride her photos without much delay. she paid for the photos, after all. this is no "tangkap-tangkap dan upload kat fb for free" anymore. this is a REAL job. so i should get going.

but before that, have a look at a teaser:  

edited this with picasa. still haven't mastered cs5.

and this is the camera that i used &
kak nurul's generous payment :)

crushes

today, a friend made a particularly hurtful comment.

"you have a crush on for lot of people. but none who does for you." (she's a good a friend, it was a good laugh but it hurt me quite a bit.)

and then, after pondering on the comment for a while, i think i'm kind of glad none of the crush did have a crush for me too.

know why?

because i will outgrew them. i like them a while, stay around, see all there is publicly displayed to be seen and i'll find that the guy's not worth my time. so i'll leave and probably already found a new crush.

the thing is, my sister said crushes can be good. crushes are an inspiration. they make you wake up in the morning, all healthy and happy to go face the world.

there's one crush i hope to find when the time has come. my future belahan jiwa. and insya Allah, Allah will never let me outgrew that one!

it's not my place. but this website is.

oke just wait a minute, wait a minute!

we are twenty, i mean, 20, two-oh years old. wayyyy........too young. aren't we?

well i've read and posted here about people my age getting married and everything. while all is right and well for them, but for you? it's a totally different thing, my friend.

for one thing, you still haven't received an offer from kpt about the whereabouts you'll be heading to come september. for as long as i've known you, you wanted to do something great with your life. and you probably will.

*sigh*

okay i have a little more sense now. i'm not gonna write why i think your choice is stupid, but i'm gonna say that i don't and i mean, CAPITAL, I DON'T think it's a wise move.

but if Allah is on your side, then alhamdulillah. well, He lets it happen. must be a reason. may Allah bless you both until Jannah.

(while writing this, i still am very much in shock. this thing will be fresh in my head for a few days i think.)

kek jagung

i can't translate that. corn cake? maize cake? whichever way you like it ;)

and so Ayah's birthday was coming up so i was thinking i wanna bake for Ayah. problem was, i know he's not big for chocolate cake. and i've only ever baked chocolate cake (and a custard cake one time).

so one day, my cousin came over and brought some corn cobs in case anyone interested to buy some. Ayah bought a bunch and seemed very enthusiastic to eat them. and then it hit me bam! corn-flavoured cake!

so i google-d a "kek jagung kukus" recipe:

Bahan2:-

1 Cawan Gula Pasir

1 Cawan Margerin

2 Cawan Tepung Gandum

5 Biji Telur – Di Pukul

1 Tin Jagung Manis Berkrim

1 Sudu Besar Baking Powder

- Pewarna Kuning

Cara:-

1. Ayak Tepung Bersama Baking Powder

2.  Kacau Gula Dan Marjerin Sampai Kembang. Kemudian Masukkan Telur.

3.  Masukkan Tepung Bersama Baking Powder Yang Telah Di Ayak.

4. Masukkan Pula Pewarna Kuning Dan Kacau Rata.

5. Akhir Sekali Masukkan Jagung.

6. Sapu Loyang Dengan Marjerin Dan Tuangkan Adunan Kemudian Kukus Hingga Masak.

thank you http://linrosly.blogspot.com/2011/07/kek-jagung-kukus.html =)


but i wanna some cheese frosting on it so i google-d the recipe for cheese frosting too.

RESEPI 

250gm cream cheese

30gm butter

1 sudu besar perahan lemon @ lime

1 sudu besar esen vanilla

1 sudu besar susu segar

100gm gula ising

1) gunakan electric mixer, mix cream cheese sampai creamy. Masukkan bahan-bahan lain.. butter + perahan limau + esen vanilla + susu segar + gula ising.

 

there is no step 2. hehe. 

thank you http://intanberlian87.blogspot.com/2011/08/resepi-red-velvet-kek.html =)

"Selamat Hari lahir Ayah <3"

Ma and Ayah: my heart and soul

the knife broke in half. Ayah was so strong. haha

tasted pretty good. huhu. angkut bakul masuk sendiri. #eh

Semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki Ayah. :)

visiting my awesome Amni + KL trip

so the point of the trip was to visit Amni, solely on visiting her. (oh, Amni or her full name, Dariah Amni binti Husseini Firdaus is my niece) but since we arrived early Friday morning and both of her parents (my brother and my sister-in-law) are working, we had half a day to spend just wandering around Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman and Jalan Masjid India. oh it didn't go to waste! i bought a lot of things like shawl, kerongsang, kain pasang and the likes (as you might have guess, as preparation for the coming hari raya. haha!)

kain pasang i bought from Jalan TAR (oh no! i didn't bought it. it's an early birthday gift from Kak Long! haha.
sorry >.<)

when my brother joined us after (oh, us is me, Kak Cik and Kak Long) Jumaat, we went to Pavilion, which is an awesome shopping mall but what is more awesome! is the fact that it has a floor that is designed to be Japan-like. they call it Tokyo Street. awesome place!

see the 'sky'? i actually feel like it was real. but of course we were indoors so that is ridiculous =='

Kak Cik + Angah (my brother) a.k.a. Amni's dad

Kak Cik

kami pergi Tokyo! jangan jeles :p
arigato gozaimasu, Tokyo Street, Pavilion KL :)

at the Japan floor, there's a store called Daiso where each item is at RM5! so you see, i'm an easy prey for such marketing technique. "everything's for RM10!" and i just might buy two or three things =='

and so i did at the Daiso store.

that's a nail clipper, an hourglass-like thing (why brain, why??) and a wrist-rest place  for your wrist when using the mouse. pretty cool right?

after that, we were in a bit of a rush to go to the Hentian Putra to collect our bags (we stowed it there before going to my brother's house in Selayang which is about half an hour from Ampang) because we have to go fetch Amni from her nursing house first (all very complicated to explain. i'll spare the details).

however, since we've got a few coupons for Buy1Free1 from JuiceWorks! (see, i'm helpless against wonderful marketing strategy >.<) we went to buy some smoothies! (well, one smoothie. the other one is free ^-^)

the coupon

the bar. err..counter. the juice counter. =='

those 'weeds' were added to the drink. my guess is to help digestion. hew hew.

and no, no picture of the drinks. all finished very quickly before i can snap any. it's sooo good, i suggest anyone who live close to a JuiceWorks! counter (i mean, you know, KL-ites), go get yourself some good smoothies. they're awesome - trust me.

only after the awesome-ness of Pavilion, KL, we went back to Angah's and Kak Siti's home in Selayang. we spent the whole next day playing with the little angel Amni =)

cute little thing, isn't she? except she's not so little now, growing healthily and heartily. oh how we love her! 

okay. that's my KL trip. haha. only one pic of Amni. hey, precious things are not so easy to find now is it? so only one pic. i'll upload some more when she's bigger. until then! :)

the truth about friendzone; friendzoning or friendzoned

oke first off, if you have never heard of or maybe flip through a few pages of 9gag, you'd probably wonder what is the meaning of the title above. but i think the term "friendzone" is so widely used now, i must say i'm quite surprised that the red squiggly line still appears under it.

friendzone refers to the mythical place where a guy or a gal is placed at when the person that the said guy or gal was interested in did not reciprocate the feelings and doing so in a pretty rude way. or not. either way, the other person is not as interested and wished to just stay as friends. hence, the name friendzone.

credit: http://9gag.com/gag/168798

get it? 

i think all of us, if we're being really honest, have been friendzoned and friendzoning people in our lives (oh well, maybe not if you're a foreveralone guy). friendzone sucks, but that doesn't mean we've never done it and it is impossible to avoid friendzone because someday the guy/gal you like does not feel the same and someday the guy/gal you consider your best-friend-forever turns out has feelings for you. it's just the way things are.

so, this post NOT about how to get out of the friendzone. for those of you who have arrived here because of my interesting post title, thank you very much. hope to see you again.

i think i have been at both sides. i have the stories and i think it's about time i share it with the world (or, you know, whoever that happens upon this post) because i have to say, when we were friendzoned we'd feel like the guy's a son-of-a-$%^&* or the gal's a #$%^& but if we'd really think about it, we've done the same to other people. like ted (HIMYM) said, "it's a vicious cycle". 

How I Was Friendzoned 

so there's this guy in my class, we've texted each other, chatting on facebook, posts on walls and whatnots and this was going on for a really long time. i think for about 3-4 months. and i started it so i think it's pretty obvious that i'd want something more than just a friendship (urghh..that sounds cheesy. isn't it cheesy?) and then suddenly,  we stopped texting. okay not so suddenly but gradually until one day i realize, we never text random worthless piece-of-crap to each other anymore. and when my fb chat does show his message, it's for asking for class notes or homework because he's sometimes too much of a lazy bum to go to class. that's when i realized, "i was on the hook". the fb chat message was the best thing that could've happen to me. it got me off his hook. (or also maybe because i had my attention on someone else at the time. wait, was i friendzoned by the guy or was i the one who did the friendzoning? *tsk*. now i sound like a #$%^&)

anyway, if you ask me, the guy friendzoned me because he led me on for a few months and i gave hints. i gave him A LOT of hints. 

How I, Friendzoned Someone

ok, i'll try not to sound like a stuck-up #$%^& here. because being friendzoned sucks, i get it. it's hard to accept the fact that the one that you like, adore, interested in and pretty much would give anything to be with is not AS INTERESTED to be with you. i get that. and i'm not even pretty enough to turn away gentlemen at my doors so i know how being rejected feels like. 

but in this story, i subtly rejected him. 

so he's also a classmate and he's been interested in me for a few years (wow, i'm a #$%^&) but i did not and frankly, cannot reciprocate his feelings. and one fine year, he was finally okay to settle as friends with me (as i'm writing this, i can't believe how stupid i was being. of course he wasn't fine! i've been in his shoes with other guys before - i should've known exactly how that feels).

when we were friends, he never mention anything about being together or anything like that but when we were supposed to separate (because i'm headed one way and he was heading another) he told me he loved me - always have, all those years. and on my following birthday, he gave me a present (something that you can wear). when he asked me later if i ever wear it, i said no because i don't wanna ruin it. but he knows that me never wearing his present means i don't wanna be with him. 

it was heartbreaking for everyone. our friendship ended. we swapped messages once in a while but we are not really friends anymore.     

so i don't really have the advice for the friendzoned and the friendzoning people out there about how to handle things when you were friendzoned and when you can't help but to friendzone people. but speaking from experience, i guess;

for the friendzoned:
don't take it so hard, man. yes, it sucks. it's worst feeling in the world. (okay, first world. maybe not for the third world) but that doesn't mean the world has ended. it feels like it but it's not. sooner or later you'll find someone else. someone that will appreciate the gestures that you would or probably have done for the friendzoning what's-the-name who doesn't appreciate you. if anything, it's he/she who's at loss.
if you're a Muslim, a word of advice, man up and say it straight to her when you are sure of your feelings (and that too, of course, after istikharah and everything). better yet, go and see OR call her parents and see if you can get their blessing to have their daughter's hands in marriage. go for it!!  i mean, what else is dating for? Malay's culture, however don't look too keen about women who fess up and ask a man to marry her but hey, it's 2012. maybe it's time someone do it. (although i am hoping i don't have to do it)

for the friendzoning:
it's like robin (HIMYM) said: "our girl parts are like a spiderweb. sometimes you're going to catch stuff you don't want."
but that doesn't make it okay. if you cannot reciprocate someone's feelings towards you, let him/her down gently. people are fragile. and yes, when you break someone's heart, someone else will come around and break your heart. be sure of that. letting people down doesn't necessarily mean you're going to smash their hearts to pieces - use soothing words and motivational crap but NEVER, EVER say:

"We can still be friends."

it just hurts. it just hurts people.
and i don't write this post because i was recently friendzoned. i am procrastinating from studying for finals. tata!